Reviews for Darkness
Echoing Rain chapter 1 . 5/2/2013
I think you are able to work more on this. It is quite unclear it is hard to understand what it is you are trying to tell your readers. I know that you can develop this much more if given some more time to think about it. Other than that, I liked your word choices; and I still think that if you are trying to explain the character's moment of death, you should be more descriptive but don't be too wordy. Really think about your character's situation and feelings. Good job, I'm rooting for you!
Lia Jenson chapter 1 . 8/21/2012
Uh...What? What's that repeating sentence?
It's all very jarring. Is that what you were going for?
If so, good job, you've confused everybody.