|Reviews for Spirited Away|
| Meghan Hunt chapter 1 . 11/3/2012
It think it's really cool you should add more
| Monty Mason chapter 1 . 8/31/2012
Hmm...it seems like an interesting idea. But the first time I read it, you wouldn't be able to tell it deals with supernatural creatures of death (did I get that right?). I recommend cleaning it up a little to make it better. And I agree with the reviewer who posted before me, you could shorten the sentences a bit along with correcting a few spelling errors. Plus this chapter doesn't seem to feel as though it closed off properly, it just leave off as a mystery, a cliffhanger. An ending you would find in a horror movie or something lol. But you could've probably expanded on this one chapter to define things in great depth of detail, making it even more clear for the reader. Sometimes you've to write your stories considering how one of your readers might not get what you're trying to say, you've to write it very simple yet elegantly. Looking forward to your future chapters, if you do continue it ).
| SibylofSilicon chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
I'm not quite sure why your dialogue is in bold. I probably wouldn't do that.
What I would advise though is cutting the number of adjectives you have in half. It's good to use them, but too many can slow everything down. Clearly something very important is happening, something that's not even supposed to happen by the sounds of it.
Your sentences could be a little shorter, that'll speed things up too.
I do like the concept though, soul reapers that have no choice in what they do. Sounds interesting.