|Reviews for Wind Warrior|
| Rouge The Baron chapter 11 . 4/22/2013
Why would somebody mine iron when there's platinum? Just mine the platinum and sell the iron as byproduct. You'll make more money that way.
"First time I've had a real live mage here." Isn't the doctor a mage?
So Aeron got a task to escort platinum out of his "good behavior". That's good accomplishment, although I'm wondering why the Overseer didn't mention even once about Aeron running away. Technically Aeron is still a convict, so there's a possibility (no matter how small) that he will use this opportunity to escape. Why did the Overseer trust him that much?
The scene with the smoking monster is great, although Catrina seemed a little too weak as a head of a mage school. She can't even take control of the Cu Sith and has to use wild deer to divert the Cu Sith attention.
| Rouge the lazy chapter 8 . 4/3/2013
"... transferring Private Aeron Pryce to the Sneachta Mountains for hard labor mining iron ores with the other criminal workers there. Perhaps working in a place that forbids magecrafting will teach him some humility."
OWWW... excellent! Great, great, great plot! Every single one of your main characters have been arrogant and defying order in one level or another (sorry for being harsh, but it's true). This is the first (maybe only) one that receives proper punishment. That's exactly what he needs: a lesson of humility. Just because he's a mage and has more power than regular soldiers doesn't mean he has more privilege in terms of life and death. And the military reacts correctly: he's guilty, and he has to be punished. How harsh, it's a whole different matter.
Now this is interesting.
| RougeBaron chapter 6 . 4/2/2013
I've said it many times and I'll say it one more time: there are too many point of views in one chapter. The POV changes from Dearg-du to Aeron to McMillan to Aeron plus a bunch of people all in one chapter. That Dearg-du scene is very nicely done but I don't think it should mix with human POV. It should have its own chapter where you can add more description of how Dearg-du looks. Same with the werewolves. We all know what werewolves are but their appearance changes from time to time, so you can add more description to them.
All scenes with Aeron can be combined into one part. The part with McMillan shouldn't divide the Aeron part into two parts. Put it before or after Aeron part.
"...but if we act together, Conall, we can crush the Ascendancy and return humanity to its place at the bottom of the food chain! The rebels would have no choice but to submit as well" - Naaaaahhhh... I don't think so. The Ascendancy and the rebels may hate each other but they're all humans. If the Dearg-du/Werewolves alliance strikes the Ascendancy, all humans will unite, then the Dearg-du/Werewolves will have to fight the Ascendancy AND the rebels.
The better strategy will be to wait until the Ascendancy and the rebels kill each other. Then the Dearg-du/Werewolves alliance should beat the winner without much problem. They may have to wait a long time, but patience is a virtue, and good things come to those who wait.
| RogueBaron too chapter 3 . 3/27/2013
You have a very wide imagination, and everything is described vividly with words. The text stimulates imagination. This universe is easy to follow because of the detail description of every aspect of it.
I don't expect to see some militarism here (because most fantasy novel/movie that I saw focus on the dragons / trolls / magic / the awesomeness of the fantasy world, and neglect the military aspect). Surprisingly, here, your militarism is good. Everything falls into place. So I think you do have good knowledge about the military. It's just on MW/BTech section sometimes you try too hard, so things becomes weird or forced. Here you take it easy, and as a result it feels good.
The characterization, although very good and unique for each character, is a rehash from Prodigy. There's the male protagonist fresh from the academy, the very intelligent female protagonist who assists the male protagonist (and later becomes his lover... yeah, I know how you think!), and a bunch of supporting characters who keep calling her his girlfriend despite his constant denial. Oh, yeah, sure, deny it now, he'll see about it midway through the story. Maybe along the way this story differs from Prodigy, but I have a feeling the end result is the same.
Continue on reading...
| RougeBaron chapter 1 . 3/27/2013
Very interesting story. I really like it that you explain the background and set up of the story in the form of 2 students studying for history exam. That is a very clever way to do it. Also the "magic" here is not a power of nature, but something that was created long time ago, thus creating division between the mages and the non-mages.
The golem part is very wild. Golem is Jewish mythology, so I didn't expect to see it here, but glad to see it. Looks like these golemns have magecraft power too.
| Van Quatra chapter 32 . 3/17/2013
what a great ending to a great story, very well done
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 32 . 3/17/2013
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! It ended! It really ended! NOOOOOO! I can't believe it ended! I'm going to miss this story! Unlike Ragnarok's story that never seems to end. Kidding, don't tell him/her I said that. :D
Anyway, awesome chapter as always and a great finish and epic end to an awesome story. That was a nice twist in the end, never expected the rebels to coup like that. I wonder what's going to happen to the Supreme Mage. Well, at least he's still alive but I expect they'll give him a leadership position or something. I also wish Commander Anderson all the best. She deserves to be with someone after all this mess. They should re-create the Mage Force though. Just because the enemies are dead doesn't mean there aren't any other enemies. The mage force will be indispensable in fighting them off.
I hope to read more stories from you again soon!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 31 . 3/12/2013
You are right, I like this chapter. This is awesome! Though I have to admit that it was anticlimatic for seven of the Supreme Magi to die like that, but yeah, this chapter is way, way, way more than awesome. Awesome can't even begin to describe it.
I like how you did Aodhagan's character amd how you let him live. It would be a disaster if all eight Supreme Magi died, that's for sure. Good thing he survived somehow. Can't believe he lost, but hey, who cares? The end justifies the means.
And what happened to Grizelda (is that her name?)? The Dearg-du that the entity merged with. Did she die along with the entity?
Thanks! This was a really great story, and I enjoyed reading it from start to finish. I wonder if this is really the end, but I hope not! Looking forward to the next chapter!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 30 . 3/4/2013
Awesome chapter as always! But a single werewolf killed TWO lightning mages at the same time? How?! Just have him kill one and let the other escape (or die later). Unless the werewolf has two heads or is five meters across, I doubt it has enough reach and claws to kill two humans at the same time.
Other than that, awesome! Your fight scenes are as engaging as always, and I want the humans to win! As in, I was rooting for the humans the entire time. Wow, it really is a massacre, eh? At least Aeron isn't solo-ing on his own like so many overpowered protagonists (I must admit that I am often guilty of that). I can't wait to see how the humans strike back! Looking forward to the next chapter!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 29 . 2/24/2013
And so the war begins. YAAAAAAY! Go, humans, go! Show that titanic entity what you're made of! Crush it to dust and nothingness! KILL it! Show them all why humans reign supreme! WOOHOO!
Sorry about that. Getting overly excited over nothing. Awesome story as always, and love the chapter. Great dialogue, nice to see the mages and soldiers working together. The army captain was a pain, but the rebel soldier was great characterization. I hope he doesn't die, and gets his brother to have some druid education once the war ends. That will be awesome. :D
And Aeron is pretty cool. Yeah, it feels so long ago that he blew up the kraken from the inside and killed those lobstoids. And also it was pretty far back when he had to do the manual labor in the mountains, messed with the horrible dude who stole his gold, etc. Oh, those times. Nostalgia really does a lot, I must say.
Well then, looking forward to the next chapter!
| burlap chapter 28 . 2/19/2013
I have become quite fond of this, especially the plot and ideas revealed throughout the chapters. You have succeeded in bringing Aeron and the rest of your characters to life, and they have all been fantastic. I have noticed a few errors here and there, but none of them hinder reading. Otherwise, I can't wait for the next chapter!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 28 . 2/17/2013
Awesome chapter as always. Wow, what a twist witj Siana. I thought Aeron was in love with her, but it turned out to be something like this. Well, she died a hero, I couldn't ask for more. The last part with Bevan is also awesome - now he's somebody great, respected and someone we can look up to. You fleshed out his character pretty well, the rebellion's going to get more sympathizers now. YAAY!
As usual, looking forward to the next chapter!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 27 . 2/14/2013
Awesome chapter! Just awesome! Words can't even begin to describe how great this chapter is! The fight scenes were cool, the emotions, the action, everything!
Did you really have to kill Gregor though? Poor guy. I thought he would live, at least. At least they saved the rest of the Stewart family, but I was hoping for a reunion between Gregor and Siana. I doubt Siana died though - I think she will be back, despite your rocks crashing down on her. Twist incoming, eh?
Well, in any case I look forward to the next chapter! YAAAY! Conall is dead, the humans have begin to strike back! Now is the time for humans to prevail over their inhuman enemies!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 26 . 2/5/2013
As usual, awesome chapter as always. Well, not much to say because not much is happening, but it's the calm before the storm. Still, it was pretty fun to get a look on the inside of the noble's mansion. As for Conall's attack, I can't wait to see what the mages have in store for them. It's payback time! Go, humans, go!
| NoWordsDiscribeMe chapter 24 . 1/31/2013