|Reviews for Thin details|
| The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 8/25/2012
Interesting haiku. I like how you described the shoe as a web because it gives off several connotations. Reminding me somewhat of one of the ficlets in my collection (prose though), the game we used to play on long busrides with the laces, and then the frailty of them, the fact that they hold shoes on our feet and back when laced shoes and boots were in fashion. Just the way you worded it brings all that together, as well as the spider's web and the more metaphorical meanings. The internet is the only one I don't quite see in there, but I'm working on an assignment about it right now so there's that playing a factor.
To be honest, the only thing I don't quite like abut this is the "and" your second line ends with. It's not a particularly powerful ending. Perhaps move it to the third? Words like that would make better beginnings or work better in the middle as opposed to the end, but that's just my personal opinion. Feel free to take it with a grain of salt.
| amavian chapter 1 . 8/25/2012