|Reviews for The Wolf Prince (NANO 2011)|
| moonwingmedia chapter 1 . 8/25/2012
Beautiful imagery. I love the overall feel and tone of this story, but the pacing is too fast. A lonely walk in the woods for Nell in the driving snow is a perfect opportunity to tell us a little more about the world, the culture. I want to know more about why she's in the woods chasing a pig in the first place. Tell me more about Sir Aleyn and why he sent her out here. Who is she to him? These are all the details that draw your reader in and allow them to connect with Nell (who was given no description as far as appearance, by the way). This is roughly 500 words that could have easily been turned into 4,000 with the right kind of pacing and set up. Like I said, the imagery is wonderful. I just feel we're jumping from one thing to the next too fast. We'll see where this goes in chapter 2, but the story has definitely intriguing me.
| moonwingmedia chapter 2 . 8/25/2012
Awesome! Truly awesome! This is honestly the best thing I've ever read on this website. Your characters are dynamic and well crafted, your pacing is greatly improved over chapter 1, and your imagery is still superb. I caught myself laughing at the antics of Sir Aleyn and Robin more than once. You have a real talent for bringing characters to life. The only criticism I can come up with is maybe have a bit more scenery description, but the story definitely isn't suffering without it. I caught a couple of errors, but nothing one good proofread couldn't cure.
All in all, I'm now mad at you for keeping me up past my bedtime because I at least had to finish the chapter. You better be planning to finish this story and trying to publish it.
| Mistval chapter 2 . 8/25/2012
This is reminding me strongly of the King Raven trilogy (which I actually disliked, but this is better :P) and I really do enjoy the allusions to legends and mythology.
The only thing I think could be improved is that I don't feel like I know Kit's personality very well yet. I think if he did a bit more thinking out loud (to the reader) that could help.
| Mistval chapter 1 . 8/25/2012
Great read so far The "boy found in a cave" story is somewhat common but you made it intriguing here. The writing itself is very competent technically and I think you've found a great balance between plot and imagery. I look forward to seeing more of these promised mythology allusions!