|Reviews for Go Ask Alice Part Three of Reboot|
| Jimmy chapter 11 . 8/8/2017
Many thanks for the story Takano-Isorokyu!
Since you ask so generously at the end of each chapter for comments, I'll happily add my two cents. Comments are the fuel that feeds the creative desire, after all.
What follows is my review of the series, so please don't continue if you're not looking for more than a thank you for your wonderful work. I sincerely enjoyed what I read of this, and hope one day you come back to finish this delightful concept.
•The concept for this story is excellent. I was hooked from the first chapter and wanted to see what direction you would take a tale of an old head on young shoulders.
•Your work is well researched. The timeline contains relevant details from the appropriate historical period and portrays them as living events unfolding in the real world. You obviously are expert in the subject matter and have a clear working knowledge of the tools, concepts and events that the protagonist interacts with during the course of the story.
•The protagonist's voice is clear and consistent throughout the series. He reacts and responds in a believable, logical way and shows rational decision making skills in his actions.
•I found starting the story at 6 years old to be a jarring choice, especially as the protagonist isn't shown to physically mature significantly before he's soon being treated as an adult by those around him. You mention his height as 5 ft. tall at one point, which would be in the upper 90th percentile even for an 11 year old child. Obviously this is for reasons related to the story trigger, but I'd suggest using artistic license and starting the story with your protagonist in his early teens.
•The story suffers from an extreme use of alphabet-soup military jargon. I don't have a military background, and I'm sure many other readers won't as well. As soon as I start to read paragraph upon paragraph of gun names, my eyes glaze over. That's not to say these can't be interesting sections, but it's not presented in an interesting way to someone with no prior experience. One of my favourite sections dealing with guns was when the protagonist was demonstrating the differences in accuracy when shooting through glass. This was an excellent section of "show, don't tell" writing, and I wished there was more like it when it came to technical sections.
•There's many interesting historical persons who appear in the story, but they're not given a lot of context or background. I got the impression many times that I'd be better served looking up someone's name on Wikipedia to better understand why they're important at this point in the story. A small amount of context on why these particular persons are interesting would be a great addition to the story.
•Personally, I felt the protagonist suffers a little too much from the Midas Touch. Every venture he undertakes is successful, there are no serious challenges in his life, and the one or two plot points where he is in real trouble merely serve to either shoehorn in a personal handshake with Saddam or a somewhat forced and (given biological age) little bit icky love interest, who quickly succumbs to the James Bond Kiss of Death. The story would be more interesting if he faced more personal challenges, encountered more resistance and setbacks, was forced to overcome these hurdles and grow as a person due to his experience. In other words, the classic hero's journey.
Anyhow, just some opinions from some dude who's nobody in particular. Again, many thanks for a great read!
| pipen53 chapter 11 . 8/11/2014
I enjoyed the stories in this series but are you ever going to revisit it and finish it off?
| Douglass chapter 11 . 10/12/2013
I've read these several times and hope they will continue.
| Dov chapter 10 . 7/1/2013
I follow nd have read it aprox 3 times
| brightsparke chapter 11 . 5/15/2013
Love the story, keep going!
| Kaws chapter 7 . 3/2/2013
I'm loving this series. I see that you haven't updated in quite a while. I hope this doesn't mean you've given up on the story. I just love the sense of ownage that's involved.
One thing that you might consider if you ever write a similar story is this: There's quite a bit that's mentally not developed. In your story you have a kid thinking like an adult. I wonder if that would truly be possible because a kid's brain is not developed enough. For example, I'm pretty sure the character wouldn't really have the ability to think ahead. Of course it's hard to say since he has a more mature mind.
| SKeene1956 chapter 2 . 2/27/2013
Just a note to let you know you are still doing a hell of a good job. Really enjoying the series. Looks to me that you are one of the better writers on site. I'm a vet as well and can only wish that what you postulated for 'Nam" had really been stories flow really well and at the ends don't leave one confused as to what the hell they had been reading. Thanks for posting them here.
| LaLlamaQueLlama chapter 11 . 2/13/2013
You suck, stop wasting my sleep.
Seriously, I'm loving it. Keep it up.
| Guest chapter 11 . 2/6/2013
Great story. Keep up the good work and hope to read more on this as soon as you put it up.
| Guest chapter 11 . 1/6/2013
Loved the detail in this series! Please keep writing, looking forward to the rest of the series.
| mwtheone chapter 11 . 12/11/2012
Good Story, i like it alot.
| Debate4life chapter 11 . 12/9/2012
This is an awesome story, and I look forward to seeing where you take it. I like how you work so many references into your story- feels like I was downloading at least Wikipedia article on *something* every chapter.
| Debate4life chapter 6 . 12/9/2012
We still use a numerically controlled lathe from that era at uni for our steel bridge- its what I learned on. The new ones make things so easy, though!
| iboardnut chapter 3 . 11/20/2012
Still reading. Can't stop. Good, very good.
| Phillip chapter 11 . 11/12/2012
Great story. If only this happened in our time line.