|Reviews for Foxavier Jostleplume, Chapter One|
| Mieu-san chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
Alright, dear, I'm going to review this story after presenting you with this key piece of information: I didn't read all the way through. Not because your story was terrible or because I hate you, but for the same reason that I suspect others have not read this story all the way through.
You really need to focus on quality over quantity. Your premise is interesting and I can see that you are trying to introduce a wide array of interesting, quirky folk. You also had a nice idea for the first few lines-they were odd and suspenseful as we tried to figure out WTF (in a good way). Good job.
However, the chapter is first and foremost too long. I know that lots of people write long chapters, but they tend to come in two flavors-either the writing is so amazing and good that the massive quantity is actually appreciated-or no one actually gets through the story without obligation and the author is left wondering why their writing isn't appreciated.
So in the future, I heavily advise you to focus on polishing the living crap out of a story instead of churning out a lot of quantity that may have been fun to write but is not necessarily so fun to read. Being able to boil your work down to a concise chapter is something I have trouble with too, but I think that learning that skill is making my writing increasingly good. The average length per chapter is under 2000 words. Not a lot. If you can use 2000 words to get your point across, develop your characters, and intrigue your audience-how can that be a wasted skill?
In terms of helping you out with the polishing, the best advise I can give you aside from trying to keep things concise is to read your story yourself. If a section doesn't interest you, make it interesting. If you have to reread a section or read it slowly, the writing is awkward-make it flow better. If you just don't like it, rewrite it. You'll probably end up rewriting a lot. But on the positive side, since I've never met anyone who can willingly stomach sheer monotony, you'll end up trying out lots of different ways of writing one chapter, which can also help you boil down what's important. Or, better yet, sometimes you'll write something greater than you could have imagined.
I urge you to keep writing and to keep trying.