I think you have a good plot, but the characters are sort of empty, you dont know much about them if you follow my meaning, still good start :)

Right, one thing this time
" because her at Hamilton Middle School" I think you missed out an e, but good so far :)

well, its a good start, but maybe it would be better to add more descriptions? also, it seems like you are starting in the middle of the story if you know what i mean? Still, as I said, good start and I'm gonna follow this one too