Reviews for Pure lovers
Child of Sleep chapter 2 . 9/13/2012
First and foremost, there are a lot of grammar errors.

"Later she gets dress and decided to go to school early."

You forgot to put a 'ed' at the end of dressed. However, that is just one of many. Also, try not to have them talk too...sixties-like. Tina is also a bit too vulnerable at times, but that is probably on her.

Anyway, this was very interesting despite the errors. Nice.
NicoluvYujin chapter 4 . 9/11/2012
It was pretty confusing at first, but I managed to decipher ;P I really like where this is going though! Keep writing! I hope you update soon!
Nico
Rainali chapter 1 . 9/9/2012
The format was quite different, in fact, it somewhat seems like a play. Other than that, this was a really nice read! I look forward to reading more! :)
If you have time, please read my stories and give me some feedback!
Rai-Rai
Child of Sleep chapter 1 . 8/29/2012
Cons: I found the format of this story to be different. It lacks description in places where there should be description. There are a few mistakes in grammar ('I have call you because your cousin came and he wanted to talk to you.' There is supposed to be a 'to' after 'have.') punctuation, and there are a few times where it unnaturally switches from past tence to present tence. And the dialogue is a smigen unnatural. For example, adults do not talk with obvious confusion planted within their voice. Also, thought is usually not put in between ( and ). But I gues that's just me. There is also no description of the settings. (Whether it's crowded, loud, etc.) It's very unsettling. The appearances are also not described. The format is what I guess is 'roleplaying.' For what I know, most people dislike that format. I recommend changing it... (And the faces...they seem like a [failed(?)] attempt to describe their face expressions. Yet, they seem like an okay element to add.) The story seems to be lazily put togther because of the format.

Pro: The plot is orginal, and is very interesting. The characters seem very creative. The ongoing action keeps my eyes glued to my phone. With a little fix, this story could really be very successful. Very nice.

(Sorry for any typos, I was in a rush.)