Reviews for Adam and Eve
Anihyr Moonstar chapter 1 . 8/29/2012
Why the speech in single quotes? As far as I know, all speech, other than "thoughts" or something of the light, ought to be in double quotes.

[Her brother held her breath in mental preparation, then let it out noisily.] Ought to be, "Her brother held *his* breath in mental preparation..." right? It reads extremely strange, as it is.

[Once, just once, he would like to see her scream.] This is a chilling line. I'm not sure if it was intended to be, as I suppose it could be just a sign of a brother wishing his sister showed more emotion, but because it involes a scream, it seems to run deeper than that and has a shuddery edge to it - a sort of darker undertone that makes its impact stronger.

['It's rubbish.' / 'Yes,' Eve agreed in a monotone, closing her sewing basket and picking up the blanket. 'It's called "world".'] This might be my favorite line, if only because it made me laugh. Though I personally have a slightly less negative world view, occasionally that feels like a pretty spot on description.

I get the feeling that I missed something after reading this, or perhaps it's that there are so many different ways to interpret it that I can't pin down which one's intended - or if there even is one intended interpretation. It's obviously loaded with "meaning heavy" names, and thus almost any part of it could be plucked out and examined for meaning, but other than the most obvious ones (calling the world rubbish) I feel like perhaps it's a little *too* open ended? This might just be me. It was interesting to see "Adam" and "Eve" in such a totally different setting, and particularly fun to try to make sense of their personalities.

- Moonstar
G.A. Martin chapter 1 . 8/29/2012
Love the interaction between the two...
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