Oh! This is so good! I am really enjoying this story! My only question is, why, if Ari is so valuable to Sirius, would he beat her so much? I get that he is mad/drunk or whatnot, but why would he hit her right before she had to go kill the guy? Wouldn't he want her in the best condition possible, considering she is his biggest assest and if she injured she might get sloppy and then get caught? Just thinking. Anyway, I can't wait to read more!
Gloria A.
p.s. - The part about the elementary school made me cry. Good job. :)

Omg you have got to stop doing this to me. I keep getting on at random times and i get left in spots like this. Then I have to wait for you to find time to post another chapter, and I have to wait for me to get time to get on.

It's funny that the world's greatest assassin always gets knocked around by Sirius. You think she could counter-attack his blows.

Still, I'm glad you updated! I wonder what caused her to black out at the end. And Sirius gives me chills. He's a good villain. Good work! Good luck with midterms!

I love the last sentence it fit perfectly. As for the rest of it it is amazing i love it.

Sort of a cliffhanger! It's really good. Can't wait to read more!

That's the total opposite of what i was thinking . Thank's for your work ! You did it great. Hope the next chapters will be a little longer.

You're right. It's a bit weird the thing that suddenly Sirius has an interest about Ari's husband. Maybe is because he has business with a gangster and wants to make some strongs links with him by marring their kids? hmmmm... interesting;)

I kind of saw that coming. But it was still interesting. I found it funny that they let her get dinner out of the oven and then they cuffed her haha!

So she's going to try and get back at Sirius, huh? I wonder if she will succeed. I still don't really know much about Jamie. How old is he anyway?

And I feel like a cautious businessman such as Sirius would definitely looked into Jamie's background and found out that Jamie's dad was a cop...

All in all, this chapter really sets the stage for what's to come. :)

This was interesting. Definitely different. Does Jamie know she's an assassin?

It was pretty rushed. You could totally develop Jamie here.

I find it hard to believe that the F.B.I. hasn't traced her yet. 6 months? It's not like she disappeared without a trace...there was a description, DNA, and then they would look back at older cases to trace her...

Yay, a description of her room.

Poor Ari. she must be exhausted and inwardly freaking out. If i were her, I would not have retunred home. I would have caught a bus, a train, hitch-hiked or anything but return to Sirius. Plus, the F.B.I. will probably trace her back there.

Good chapter/

Interesting concept. I'll be sure to check out more of it. I have a thing for assassins which probably speaks badly of what type of child I was...needless to say I will definitely read more once I can.

My only suggestion would be to add more detail and watch how much you have her speak directly to the audience using "oh" and "oh by the way." It takes away from your writing.

Rather than " Oh, yeah. By the way, I have a tattoo. It's an angel, my signature. Oh, and just so you know, my name is not Angel. It's Ari."

it could be: "Another tattoo?" I scratched the tattoo on my shoulder nervously and recalled the beating I received the night he discovered it. The angel spread her wings over me, but even her embrace couldn't protect me from his anger... "

Awesome and intense! I'm glad they figured it out so easily!

Now the chase begins :)

Yay! I knew she wouldn't kill Janet! She even did more than just spare her life. Great work! Too bad Ari's prints are probably on the phone, AND Janet can describe Ari's appearance.

Holy crap! That was...rather intense. I wonder how the F.B.I. could not link it to a suspect!? How in the world did Sirius get away with that!

How sad, thinking of all those innocent people! Well, it does not seem like Ari has any close ties to people anymore. I mean, she kills the innocent nowadays. Would she really care if this happened again?

And if I were her and had her skills, I would be planning a getaway. If she can murder without anyone tracing it to her, she should be able to plan escape without any links to where she is going...?

MW

I feel sorry for this witness. I have a feeling Ari will spare her.

"Are you abused?" is indeed an outright thing to say, but I do not think an F.B.I agent would phrase it quite this way. I think he would ask if everything was alright at home or, "Did someone do this to you?" or something like that.

And maybe you could describe Ari's house. What are her living conditions like? What is in her room? Things that remind her of her past or is it just four white walls? I'd like to know. :)

Anyways, keep it up!

MW