Dang, that's good! Really, really good. I'm eagerly waiting the next part, so write it soon!

That was good. Lots of typos.

Pretty good story so far. There are some grammar and spelling mistakes, just look it over for those. For instance, when you first talk about Tormar and Conrili, the way it's phrased sounds like Tormar is married to Conrili, and no mention of relation to Tolamis. I know that's not what you meant, but you need to fix the grammar. It would probably work if you just mentioned Conrili first and said that Tormar was their son.

keep on writing pleasSEEEE ! _

Oh, wow! that was sooooo good! I love stories about thieves! please you have got continue this! whats gonna happen next? Malok has to survive or there's no more story! you wouldn't do that to me! (horrofied look) would you? Oooooh write more soon! (bounces impatently) _ you've got one big fan here!