|Reviews for Truth|
| Ink Flows Into Power chapter 1 . 9/8/2012
Thanks for doing a follow-on! A brilliant poem with a highly important message and a great flair of true, the truth is elusive and it takes a lot of bravery to do. Really liked the ending. I have always prided myself on my honesty, but even for the best of us, there's always a tendency to lie.
Structurally, my only complaint (and this may well be a style thing) is that "Instead [line break] we lurk in shadows" could have been one line. If i understand correctly, you used the line break to draw attention to the choice we have, but it kind of interrupts the flow of reading and the poem seems to be focused on how easy it is to make the decision to lie.
The ONLY other possible criticism is that SOME of the words MAY be swapped for stronger ones (e.g.:"hiding" for "cowering" may show our weakness more outdspokenly.
Thanks for taking me up on my suggestion! If you ever need any further ideas, PM me. I'll be happy to help.