Reviews for The Outbreak
Nintendo Fan 101 chapter 2 . 9/4/2012
This story would make a great horrorfilm!
Perswante chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
So it's about a bunch of kids stuck together in a zombie apocalypse? Unless you make it Lord of the Flies-esque and have them start to seriously go absolutely mad and savage, I don't really see this story going anywhere special. Of course, maybe you can actually create some tension and excellent drama since this is still the beginning, but right now the presentation is just FAR too flowery and lacking any kind of dramatic substance. Don't tell me she's been through hell and then shrug it off with "awwww my crush saved me! and and and all my classmates are here and we have guns, and there's a grocery story and omg max almost got bit the other-" just no. These are children, they are typically incompetent and emotional in BASIC every day situations, a zombie apocalypse would tear them apart in every which way imaginable. Hook the reader, don't coddle them.

Also, where the hell would they get guns? And why use guns in a zombie apocalypse? Fine for ammo? What is "fine"? Do they have a bunch of pistols with a stack of clips? Ten bullets per gun?
TEENAGERS would not find guns so easily. In general zombie media, I'm pretty sure everyone decides fairly quickly that guns are a bad idea unless necessary, and even when it comes to necessary defences, ammo is scarce and guns are limited.

TL;DR: Very fantasy right off the bat. Potential for improvement, but I'm not holding my breath. Don't take this as a personal attack or anything, I'm just saying what I think.
Lia Jenson chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
Another zombie work-they ARE popular. Don't worry though, I find yours a good addition, with the framework for a good story arc all laid out. Continue!
walls-have-ears chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
Interesting first chapter, you should definitely continue!
Q-Works chapter 1 . 9/3/2012
Interesting premise and set up. I like the way the rules of the world are laid out. There are no slow moments here. You get tossed into the world and how things currently are with no filler at all. Its off to a great start.
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