|Reviews for Elemental Powers Come with Elemental Troubles|
| Guest chapter 14 . 11/20/2012
OMG! YESSSSSSSSS! THAT WAS EPIC! I LOVE YOU MORE THAN PANTS!
| Justrockzyxxx chapter 14 . 11/18/2012
I've just read what you have so far and it's so good! Can't wait for the next chapter!
| Guest chapter 13 . 11/11/2012
Please keep writing, youre really good!
| Guest chapter 13 . 10/29/2012
| Guest chapter 13 . 10/22/2012
Please review! This is really good!
| dAiSy chapter 13 . 10/21/2012
This is really good. Can't wait for you to post another chapter.
| Silver Gryphon chapter 13 . 10/23/2012
Your ideas are interesting, but your story skips way too much. The setting isn't really described, the characters tend to be all similar, and somehow magically they gain special knowledge and abilities. Skyra, for example. She's the new student at the school, yet within just a few moments it's like she's been there forever.
I hope my review doesn't discourage you, but there's still a lot to be worked on in this story. Have you considered looking for a beta reader? You should look for someone who can help you better flesh out your story, give each scene the detail and work it deserves, help you develop the characters and their relationships with each other more, and give you a different point of view on your story. It's good to have input as you write, we all tend to get attached to our stories and sometimes we miss our mistakes, especially because it makes perfect sense in our heads, but maybe not yet on paper.
Anyways, good luck to you, and good day!
| Chocolate Kit Kat chapter 13 . 10/21/2012
Awesome! And you're so mean, picking on Choco and me... Oh well, still awesome! Europhix sure has a lot of toys, huh? The "constrictor" thingie was pretty cool! Keep up the good work!
| Choco Strawberry chapter 13 . 10/21/2012
Aww, i wanted to "guess!" Never mind. Do post quickly and great job!
| AngryChocolateMuffin chapter 5 . 10/21/2012
I think that chapter 5 was my favorite (have not read all of this). It was very action-packed and interesting. I liked the part where Coronalia shot the electric water back at Cyndra. ;) Also, I like how Coronalia shows a tiny trait of pity/mercy when she winced and it said, 'It looked and sounded painful'. Maybe not exactly pity/mercy, but I like that part as well.
Some things I didn't like that much about this chapter:
Their forms need to be awesomer. Maybe more than blue pants and blue shirt. I mean, I like how they shimmer, but maybe the forms could be more like a dress made of water or something. I do like Skyra's form though. ;)
PS: I had an idea something like this before I was introduced to FictionPress. Instead of being kidnapped, the characters had to go through a portal-thingy, sort of. The school was much different, too. ;) I might write it and I hope you don't mind if I do :)
| Choco Strawberry chapter 12 . 9/27/2012
Interesting... isn't there something missing in this chapter though?
Skyra totally owned that instructor!
Umm... also, you said "do activity". Isn't is "do activities"?
Still can't believe Karamu would do that. Anways, awesome chapter!
| Choco Strawberry chapter 11 . 9/21/2012
The beginning didn't really make sense...
How AM I supposed to talk or How WAS I supposed to talk?
Europhix can sweep his cloak over the whole room? Wow, Europhix, you must have a REALLY big/long cloak. I just do 't get how you can lug that thing around.
Karamu! HOW DARE YOU JOIN THAT B***ARD! I don't think bastard is bad but... oh whatever I just typed it anyways!
How does Skyra grab the knife if her hands are bound?
ANOTHER GREAT CHAPTER! FANTASTICO!
| JennaLM chapter 10 . 9/19/2012
Interesting...I wondered when the whole "with a murderer for a cousin" thing would come in. One thing though: the explanation of the murder was a little fast and it might have been better with a little more emotion thrown in. All in all, an interesting development. Can't wait to read more! (I'm not trying to be harsh, honest. I hope you don't take it that way) :)
| Choco Strawberry chapter 5 . 9/13/2012
Another great chapter!
In paragraph 3 you said manages.
Also, somewhere in the middle, when Coronalia says don't worry I might say it like this:
"Don't worry about it. We'll be fully healed in a few hours. (this is the same way you did it. but I would change the next part, like) And," I added hastily, when etc. Again, this is just the way I'd do it. It's perfectly fine as is. i just think don't worry at the beginning twice in a row is kind of weird.
Maybe you should mention Skyra's family more in detail somewhere else? Cause it seems strange that she only ever talks or thinks about them this once.
| Choco Strawberry chapter 4 . 9/11/2012
I have nothing to say. This story is fascinating. There is nothing I would change (obviously).
Your story leaves me at a loss for words. Great job!