SO GOOD! 333

Kinda sad.

BUT GOOD!

like it a lot, the school scene was a little weird. not bad, just seemed like your writing style changed a bit.

I want to know what all your characters look like! Descriptions PUHLEEEEYZZZE ():)

cool story, a few typos. wondering where the plot is going...there's some conflict with this kenzie girl, but i cant tell if its the main focus or if its gonna be somethin with the mom or the brother or the matt kid. just curious i guess

like it a lot, overall

Wow, you are a very talented writer! The emotional depth is captivating, yet there is a fine lacing of humor in parts that I'm hoping will develop more as the main character develops and grows through her grieving process.

Very, very good! You have a bright future!

Yay! So happy for the new chappy! ;)

Hmm. To answer your questions...

Thoughts: LOVE!

Where do I see it going: I am wondering if Presley is going to interact anymore with this Jaden character...most popular kid in school, yada yada...hmm hmm

Believable: The only one that is a little extreme was the Kenzie girl. She's a little out there, psycho mean girl style, but it wasn't too unbelievable.

I have never punched anyone! But I've thought about it...

Please update again soon!

Alberta

Very good! You are a very talented and creative writer!
Your choice of words was wonderful, it flowed well...
Keep it up! ;-)

hey nice story, kinda sad but it was supposed to be. just wondering where it's going from here, if the whole story is down it might be sort of depressing after a while. gotta have some humor too. but the part about the shoes was sort of funny. anyway, hope you write more.

Wow, this is really good! I'm hooked, please update soon!

I like how the shoes keep coming back up, and how her mom is called "sensible shoes" for a good portion of the chapter. It makes it seem like the relationship there is a bit strained and distant, from the circumstance or maybe that's just how they are?

I like Matt's character, too, but I want to know more about him.

Keep it up!

Alberta St.

Awesome story. I spotted some mistakes (missing spaces here or there, an "Isaid" or something similar) but if you reread it you should catch them. Keep it up!