Reviews for Doll Face
anon chapter 2 . 9/10/2012
I love it
Lia Jenson chapter 2 . 9/8/2012
Uh...Yeah, it was better off with that one chapter. Here you just rush the revelations and throw them at us, blah blah the grandmothers insane and insanely merciless, and now what, Helena has do whatever but she won't then AHH the monster. It just...falls flat to me. I don't know about anyone else.
jazz chapter 1 . 9/8/2012
fantastic story, I hope to read more
Lia Jenson chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
Where the hell are all the periods and commas? The punctuation in general is awful.
The story/plot itself was okay in my opinion.
Dolls will always be eerie to us, it's the eyes that have nothing and yet always seem to hold something...I'm done speaking in riddles now.

Also, Lilith would be a better name choice, as Lilim is plural, Lilith in contrast is an actual name and in singular form.
AcrylicHeart chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
This was rather questionable in my opinion. You used no punctuation within the quoatations, and most of the sentences seemed to be either partial thoughts or run-on sentences. I like the ideal of the story, but it really needs to be touched up quite a bit. Don't be afraid to put a lot of detail into something.

I honestly have no clue what the 'monster' looks like because there was so little detail. That's not a good thing in most literary endeavors. Yes, horror is best left to the imagination, but when the reader doesn't even know what they're supposed to be imagining, it becomes less horror, more boring.

I would be more than happy to read this again after it's been touched up, but until then...?

AH
NonsensicalNovelist chapter 1 . 9/4/2012
fucking creepy description a leopard like creature with a doll face. Also I searched Lilim its a demon like creature nice add on