Reviews for Mask
StarburstAwesomeness chapter 1 . 9/7/2012
I like the idea of the poem, but I think you could do much more with it. Do you agree? The last two lines were the best and most effective. Maybe you could go back and change the syllables, for example, instead of "the dog lives in a bog." (next line) "one day the lovely dog met a hog." (this is really bad)
You could say, "the dog lives in a bog." (next line) "the dog met a small hog." My point is, it doesn't have to rhyme really, but counting the syllables make a BIG difference.
Hope I helped,
Starburst