|Reviews for lifeline|
| Anihyr Moonstar chapter 1 . 9/16/2012
I love the alliteration in this. It jumps out at me right off the bat, and doesn't feel forced. The image of a "locomotive libido" is quite powerful, too. (Though you spelled “locomotive” wrong. ;) )
I feel like by the beginning of the second stanza the alliteration gets a *little* more forced, but not jarringly so, and I think you end on a strong note - [(he's a blind fool / but still a god among / mice)] - a nice contrast to the expected 'god among men' and it comes packed with meaning all its own. All around, very enjoyable.
- Moonstar, Courtesy of the Review Game’s Review Marathon - link in my profile
| madame matryoshka chapter 1 . 9/11/2012
oh wow, this is great. i especially love "livid liars / livid lovers / longing for longevity and / living for him", you have such a way with words sdhgjkdfhg