|Reviews for Fire|
| Nonexistent Phantom chapter 1 . 9/19/2012
I would have liked a little bit more suspense, though-something to get chills tingling up my spine, or to cause me to glance furtively over my shoulder. I love thrillers and horror stories, and I would have enjoyed this more if it were longer. I still appreciate your attentiveness to correct grammar and spelling, and you have a good grasp of the English language, but this could use a bit more flavor to spice up the words.
It was a nice try though, and I am adding this to my Favorite Stories list. I bid you good luck as you continue your journey along the oft-trodden path of a writer.
From one writer to another,
| Dotpoint chapter 1 . 9/19/2012
um, i don't want to be mean, but its a bit short. REALLY GOOD THOUGH!
| Ed Harley chapter 1 . 9/11/2012
Here’s what I liked: The imagery of the face and the fire, very tense.
What could be left out: The over-used phrases (shiver up my spine, middle of nowhere, Pure evil) and repetition (eerie too eerie, away, far away)
What confused me: was it night or day. Most birds sing in the day but the character runs into the darkness at one point.
What could be improved: there needs to be a break after paragraph 1 and before paragraph 5 to let the reader know you’re doing a flashback.