|Reviews for Ruining Myself|
| Love A Mysterious Thing chapter 1 . 9/17/2012
beautiful and painful... I love you mariah! I'm always for you!
| nothing rhymed chapter 1 . 9/16/2012
nice and dark. most of what i read in this same vein on fp is terribly vacuous, but your meditations are infinitely deeper, your examinations feel almost sinisterly mature in their pain. you are lyrically willful and destructively determined. the unexpected end is interesting too.
| True Talker chapter 1 . 9/15/2012
Don't you see that I REALLY DO LOVE YOU? That I REALLY DO CARE? I mean I will be MORE busy and I can't sit here for hours on end when I have to leave to go to work and do other things and because I DON'T have a phone to access this that means that I will be on here less. NO NOT to spend (through a screen) less time with you. It is just because it makes sense right - that I MUST work on my life. Sitting here DOESN'T allow for me to do that - it just doesn't. Also, PLEASE REALIZE that it is NOT Kevin who I am spending time with as he and I DON'T spend time together. I WOULD LOVE TO BE BY YOUR SIDE AND YOUR SIDE ALONE. What do you think that I REALLY WANT? I REALY WANT YOU - I REALLY WANT TO BE WITH YOU.
Look, there is GOOD NEWS in me working on my life. Why? Because if I can HURRY UP SOMEHOW and pay off my debts and save up money to move then I WILL BE LIVING on my own in Toronto and if you wish I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO SEE ME. However I PREFER IT TO BE SOONER. Why? Because I REALLY WANT TO BE THERE FOR YOU - and by there I MEAN WITH YOU.
Look, you CAN'T say that I DON'T care because I am CONSTANTLY LOOKING to see if I can communicate with you. What do I mean by this? I had first come onto the computer at 5:30pm and now it is 1:34am here. Don't you see I want to be WITH YOU ALSO. I WANT TO BE THERE FOR YOU and GIVE YOU HUGS and I WANT YOU TO BE WHO YOU REALLY ARE - YES THE REAL YOU. Why wouldn't I? I JUST WANT to be THERE FOR YOU.
PLEASE BE OKAY - Becasue believe it or not I NEED YOU. I REALLY DO. If you could've only seen me last night you would KNOW how much pain I was TRULY IN. What do I mean by that? I LOVE YOU - I NEED YOU. Apparently I have a DIFFICULT TIME leaving and walking away from this computer. Why do you think that is? It "IS" because OF YOU. I WANT TO BE WITH YOU.