|Reviews for The Story of Emily|
| stormrook chapter 1 . 9/16/2012
"She had had parents once"
The second had is redundant, it sounds better without it.
"Aunt Marci made her sensation."
This sentence has problems.
I enjoyed reading this though. If I were to offer some advice, it seems a little too short. A little bare bones. Actions and descriptions could be fleshed out more. Put a little more meat on these bones here! You have enough good material here to make one or two really robust chapters. The plot and story are compelling enough for it.