Reviews for Transcend (Season One)
Tanaka Suaderi chapter 32 . 2/21/2013
Spoiler:I honestly dont like that everyone died, at the part when Courtney died I was sad then when Ben died I was mad then when I knew Vannessa was gonna die I was happy but sad but Zayn too, Sorry I just think you went overboard so I'm gonna have to dislike this chapter. Anyway I like how you started the wiki for Trancend (season one it explains thing I was a little confused on, oh and another thing what was going on with that one chapter about... Nathan was it I think anyway how is he gonna be incorperated in the story? Sorry Bout the guest thing it was me...
Van Quatra chapter 32 . 2/19/2013
dear god, i thought lukas would of killed vanessa but for him to loose all his friends in one day is sad and heart breaking. keep it up you are doing great
Chiisutofupuru chapter 32 . 2/19/2013
Damn, no wonder Lukas has power... his mother is wicked awesome! Looking forward to season two already!

(Now I wonder what Lukas's decision is going to be... I also wonder if the flashback is some foreshadowing happening, it was nice to know what all happened in the past finally)

Well, I'm hooked on your story... sad you kept your promise about killing off a bunch of characters.

I will be back for more.

Chiisutofupuru
KaiserSchwarz chapter 32 . 2/19/2013
[SPOILER ALERT]!

Uh oh. The way this is going, Lukas is well on his way to becoming Batman in personality, which isn't necessarily a bad thing if played properly.

Your chapters are long, so I guess I can understand killing Vanessa off early.

I see Lukas going emo, but I hope not. I'd like to see him at least try to fight through rather than just falling off the horizon of despair. That or we can have Luna beat some sense into him (question is, can she? When he goes rage mode, he's nearly as dangerous as Hollow Ichigo).

Another thing that I like - Lukas's mom. Yeah a lot of people don't care for characters like Kisuke Urahara because they know the crud ton, could probably resolve a whole arc's problem by themselves, and are implied to be ridiculously powerful, but the comical relief they bring to the table is priceless and their goofy personality and the impressions they leave on the main protagonist as they grow into their roles as warriors is irreplaceable. Well, that and it's a common theme in shounen.

As for a climax, that in my mind is what allows me to justify Vanessa's death. An emotional murder of everyone he held dear with a few exceptions. He is now left in the rubble of despair. Will he rise above it? Or will it consume him? Or perhaps, will it drive him mad? No one can say right now.

On the topic of taking awhile, do NOT be sorry! I am more than willing to wait for a quality product that has the story fleshed out (grammar's important too, but I'm more concerned about the plot) than something that seems poorly woven.

Ah, going to other topics in the chapter!

Luna's interaction with her mother. That was sweet, but at the same time pretty funny. It's something heartwarming to kind of soften the reader up before we get into the blood and gore that gets thrown in our faces after a scenery switch.

Now I want to know about Lukas's mom. Who would have thought that the goofy mom was actually a Grade-A boss. Nice.

Somehow, as far as the romance tag goes, I think I can see where this is going, but if my guess is right I'm happy because I liked that character the most anyway. xD

What gave me respect for Lukas was his ability to remain rational during his berserker mode. A lot of shounen writers tend to use the unstoppable rage card A LOT for EVERY battle (cough cough ichigo cough cough), but I will say that the card can be used. Lukas did a good job of playing it the right way.

Personally, I think that's probably your protagonist's selling point- he has balance. He's powerful but intelligent. He's not any particular extreme (Sakamaki Izayoi from a recent anime: he's powerful, smart, and practically UNSTOPPABLE even when when he's sane). Lukas plays out the way Izayoi should have been written. Powerful but not a god; smart, but not a downright genius. Additionally he's got people who hate him. A cast that has everyone all likin' the main character is too boring. I like my variety and you give it to me quite nicely.

Have to admit, the romance tag is somewhere that I usually avoid, but it's stories like this that make me glad that I occasionally take the time to look one up.

Can't wait to see how you end this. You my friend have a nice piece of work right here.

Red
Tanaka Suaderi chapter 31 . 2/19/2013
God, I cant get enough of the ending "heafs off to find Vanessa" I can see it transparently clear in my head.
MissKluck chapter 2 . 2/17/2013
So as you can see with this review I've finally gotten around to read your story, even though it's like one and a half month too late or something? Anyway I like your story so far, nice characters and good writing. And it seems to be interesting so I will continue to read, though it will be slow since I've got many other things to do, including writing on my own story. I can see that there are some similarities in our writing style, as you said, which in turn should make it even more interesting to continue to read. :)
KaiserSchwarz chapter 30 . 2/13/2013
Hello again. I've been keeping up, but this chapter has so much that I want to comment on.

[SPOILER ALERT]

Okay, not to be a jerk, but there are three reasons that I'm glad that Courtney is dead.

1. The most relevant to the story, her death will bring about development and change in Lukas's character; developments that I find interest in reading about.

2. We can see more focus on other characters and it trimmed the protagonist cast down by 1 character. That can be quite helpful late in the game.

3. I found her character too similar to Sakura from Naruto, which was a terrible turn off given the romance tag. In a battle manga, characters like that just shouldn't survive logically speaking. The fact that you killed her off made the story more realistic for two reasons.

3.1 - No war (silent ones included) goes on without casualties. Courtney's death paints this point-blank and will force Lukas to rethink his position on the events going on around. Will he continue as he has, staying strong in her memory? Or will he become the warrior that is out for revenge?

3.2 - Again, no character as emotionally weak as her should survive in a battle manga for any reason. If they develop and become stronger (Cite Hope from FF XIII), then it makes sense since that can be worked around as a coming of age sort of thing, but when they consistently stay the same way or barely change at all like Courtney, they really need to kick the bucket. After all, that makes them useful for character development and further establishes and justifies their purpose in the story.

Moving on to Vanessa, I knew it. From the moment she went and gave Courtney that little talk down, I had a feeling that we'd see either a fall out or Vanessa killing Courtney off. Kind of glad it was the other one for the reasons listed above.

Now comes the real question: Is Vanessa secretly super strong? Now THAT I'm excited to see!

Eh heh, sorry for the long review. This chapter was just that good. Seriously. I enjoyed it.
Tanaka Suaderi chapter 30 . 2/12/2013
Spoiler Alert: Whoa, what a twist i never thought one of his best friends would do such a horendous thing. I'm gonna miss Courtney, she actually started to grow on me.
TheBloodEdge chapter 6 . 2/9/2013
Hahaha, these are great! I can just finish the story by skipping the chapters and reading the summaries.

Nah.

It's no fun like that. To get a good grip, you gotta read it as a whole. That's the only way you can identify with characters and settings.
TheBloodEdge chapter 5 . 2/9/2013
Oookay. I wasn't able to get through the episodes the first time around so I'll finish what I started now.

...

Damn. That was a long lecture. Walls and walls of text... I just gathered that there's a kingdom of enhanced humans and furries nearby. I think that's all I really need to know.

Honestly, I agree with Greg on this one. You may have tried to show him as a jerk, but jerk's got a point.

Racism! Fantastic racism to be precise. I guess this is one of the major themes you want to pursue?

Lunch scene? Luna spoonfeeding Lukas? Welcome to the harem Luna! She's probably the first to join actually... Right now, it's Courtney, Courtney's sister, Luna and... Vanessa(?). I don't know about the last one, too much of a troll to actually gauge her feelings.

Syrus is a lolicon! Called it!

Hm hm hm... Wait, who would put their HQ in a FOREST?!

I'll have to agree with the infodumping. A little too much no?

Oh, and I'm guessing that the Satalian government is evil because it sounds like SATAN!
Tanaka Suaderi chapter 29 . 2/7/2013
Sorry I haven't been reading these in a while, oh and that drawing on the front page did you do it?
Nekonron chapter 30 . 2/3/2013
With all the strong hints that Vanessa was an agent of Silver Blood, I was almost certain that a twist was coming revealing otherwise.

But I'm actually glad with the turn of events in this chapter although I feel the possibility of something even bigger at work behind the scenes is still there. The foreshadowing on Lukas and Courtney's relationship at the beginning was a great touch too.
Katsurou Shimizu chapter 7 . 2/3/2013
Greg is one noisy dude. Can I smack him?

Meg is one irritating seductress. Can I smack her too?

Hana... no, she's a nice shy girl. She's free from my punishment.

And the game of Apprehend turns out to be a game of catching?! Nice gunshot fight though.

Ah, the flashback. It's nicely done, but I think it would better blend in with the scene if it's integrated while he's having that nightmare, rather than while he was out walking in the woods? Just thought it would make the readers connect even more with Meg and Luna's reactions after knowing about Lukas' past beforehand.

Keep it up! :)

*
[The female reported stated]
-reporter
Chiisutofupuru chapter 30 . 2/1/2013
Damn that was a brutal chapter in the end. Lukas is going to get himself in a great deal of trouble... and Kane, in the end he was all talk. You have gotten me hooked big time now. Run! Vanessa!
Katsurou Shimizu chapter 5 . 1/31/2013
And I'm back, after a ridiculously long while. Procrastination is a pain.

Urrgh, Benehime, you just have to reminded me why I hated history classes!

Well, this episode is pretty much an opportunity of a info-dump, which is not really my thing, but I can see how other readers who like to take notes and get more involved in the epic world that you have constructed would like this. I personally thought that the information could have been eased in into the reader over occasional bits of dialogue or action sequences and all that. But well, I'm that kind of reader who likes a gentler learning curve. But then again, kudos to you for including summaries in your story.

From skimming through the history lesson bit, it sorta reminds me a bit of Homunculi from FMA.

Ahh, Syrus, you hot-headed potty mouth. You lose already from that exchange.

On a positive note, your dialogue flows a lot better compared to the first chapters, as evidenced in the exchange between Lukas and Luna. Description wise, you are doing a lot better too.

Keep it up! :)

*
[Some were walking dripping wet with nothing but towels on from showering. The three reached the end of the room to a swinging double door. From the gap at the bottom of the doors a large amount of steam seeped out, and the sound of running water could be heard.]
- commas needed between "walking and dripping"; "doors" and "a"
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