Reviews for Outlanders
Benehime chapter 1 . 9/20/2012
Careful how you use commas. Only a few places you've used them incorrectly, but I believe in a some sentences they are unneeded and only make the sentence too long. Mix up sentence structure. Other than that, it does sound like a really interesting beginning. I'm very interested to see how well you portray the political aspects of this new country.