Reviews for Gifted
Zellarest chapter 2 . 11/2/2012
It was certainly interesting, but I felt as though it could have been more personal. It sounded passive, as if Amy were bored. But I liked the overall chapter itself.
There were a few 'snags' though.
Where Amy is describing the outcasts, she says 'We aren't like the rest thou.' I don't mean to offend you by any means at all, but I believe you meant 'though'. 'Thou' is Old English for 'you'. Or 'they' in some cases. It is essential to comb your chapters for grammatical errors or typos, and they often disrupt the flow of the story and the reader becomes confused and perturbed.
I also had a slight issue when Amy recites her mother's words and she repeats 'Your gift will come soon' twice. It is essential that phrases or words are not restated, as it bores or turns the reader off of your story. It would have been better if it had been restated at the end with a subtle 'my dear' or 'Amelia' as if the mother were consoling or giving her advice.
Again, the chapter was, for lack of a better word, interesting. Your idea is certainly hopeful, and has much potential if it is proceeded with carefully. I do so look forward to the next chapter. But perhaps tonorrow, when my vocabulary isn't so groggy and I have caught up on my reading assignment, yes?
Zellarest chapter 1 . 11/2/2012
This is genuinely interesting and I'm truly curious about the rest of the story. It seems to have a lot of potential, what with the possibility of seemingly mutated humans who all have gifts. When I say mutated, I don't mean boneless globs of goo or something. I mean that their instincts, behavior, and DNA has been altered to survive within the world it is bade to live in of course.
I had one teensy tiny snag in this chapter. Where it says 'Our world where beauty is meaningless, it does have some flaws.' it could be 'Our world "is a place where" beauty is meaningless, it does have some flaws'. Or it could even be 'Our world, where beauty is meaningless, does have some flaws.' The original piece disrupts the flow and caused me to backtrack and read it again as to understand it.
But besides that, it was genuinely interesting and I am excited to move on to the next chapter.
CharissaKarn chapter 8 . 11/1/2012
:D YAY! :D this is awesome! :) i cannot wait to read more! :) please update again soon! :D
CharissaKarn chapter 7 . 10/7/2012
AHHHHHHH I WANNA KNOW WHATS HAPPENING! please update again, really soon! :D
CharissaKarn chapter 6 . 9/29/2012
Ah! D: its so sad! but at the same time, exciting since an adventure awaits! :D please update again, really soon! :D
Sheaver chapter 5 . 9/24/2012
OwO it would be nice if you write longer chapters,... :) ur story is extremely enjoyable I'd love to read more!
CharissaKarn chapter 5 . 9/23/2012
Ahhhh, This is so addicting! :P ahah I wanna read more! :) keep updating! :D ahah
CharissaKarn chapter 4 . 9/22/2012
AHHH! this was NOT what i would have expected! :D I LIKE IT! :D Please keep updating! :D
TheMuffinManDies chapter 4 . 9/22/2012
I really love the concept and the plot so far, but it is so short! Try putting some of the chapters together or adding more detail and it'd be even better. Despite that, I still think it's really great, so keep working at it :).
CharissaKarn chapter 2 . 9/18/2012
Hmmm, I'd really like to see where this is going! :) so far, it has my interest! update again, soon please! :)