Very intriguing, it's really good so far, can't wait.

Hey,

Why would a bathroom door have a window? If there was always only one Morian per ship, except for the rare visitor, it would seem there would either be a solid door or not... It does work as an excuse for her to be pissed off and then lead to their sensual encounter.

Now, speaking of that ... his confession of his mental confusion works great, fits the scenario you've created. The falling in love part ... I don't know ... if he has never had feelings for another person/creature, how would he know love?

The licking up her neck thing ... hum ... I can see him doing it or almost any kind of sexual/sensual reaction, given his lack of experience, but she must have been right on the edge and that's her thing to have such an immediate overwhelming reaction. But, to each their own...

The ending worked fine, other than I would think Rae's military experience should have provided a better response on her part. I'm not saying superhero crap, just a little better maybe... a splattering of green shit food over the two combatants might have been amusing ... just a thought...

John

This is interesting...

Hey,

Again, a very funny chapter...

Actually I think the 'talking' could be interesting and certainly opens up the possibility of more humorous banter as they get to know each other. In my stories, I tend to develop the emotional and intellectual commitment (sometimes very quickly I will admit ;)) between the unique beings before they ... jump on each others bones... but its your story, your ideas, so...

The only out of place issue, and I'm not sure, is the comment about her boobs being larger than what he's seem in other animals... but why did he not have a concept of females and sexual reproduction if he had encountered other animals ... with boobs? Now I can imagine a number of inventive explanations, but I will leave that to you.

Carry on, this is fun!

John

That line... He looked viscous, like a dog that had been in one too many fights.
Perhaps it should be vicious, not viscous?
Feisty heroines rock!

Hey,

So we get Rae's thoughts, feeling and obvious uncertainties about the situation ... beyond the 'I've been kidnapped by an alien' reality.

I like the line about the sexual tension ... she feels it, but dismisses it as not possible. However, there's that bit of hope in the doubt...

She needs to stay strong ... she has a mission ... she is a soldier and a strong woman. But, she is a woman with the emotional needs that she has appeared to have ignored in the past that are surfacing with Markar.

There are opportunities here beyond her 'conscious' expectations of her mission...

One small spelling error: heel s/b heal

Great Job!

John

Hey,

This is hilarious!

Of all the 'first encounter' I've read this has to be the most ... different?

Wherever you go with this please keep up with the humor. Ohh! There are so many possibilities!

John

Hey,

This is hilarious!

It has to be one of the most unique 'first encounter' I've read.

I have to give 'Rae' credit, she certainly is more open and descriptive than I would imagine most other adults would be in a similar situation. ( I know as a writer it is easier to 'write' more openly than it is to speak face to face, but maybe its me).

Please keep the humor going! I can just imagine any number of other similar conversations between these two.

Great Job.

John

Hey,

Interesting first conversation... you have certainly set the stage for a battle of wills with a heavy dose of sexual tension.

Your Rae character certainly fits a Betty White quote:

“Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”
― Betty White

'He looked viscous, like a dog that had been in one too many fights.' I'm not sure I understand this description, viscous? especially when followed by ... 'But for all that, he was attractive.'

Great story!

John

Hey,

This is very good. I'm not going to try to guess where you are going with the story...

Lead on and I will follow...

John