|Reviews for War of Attrition|
| TorgoTheWhite chapter 2 . 9/24/2012
A lot of little typos in this update.
"He opened his rifle's bipods and activated his active camoflague" - camouflage.
"Both with small said over the microphone in his helmet." - what is that supposed to mean?
"this time it richoceted off the wall in front of him and impacted" - ricocheted
"As continued to lean back farther and farther the chair slid out from under him and he slammed his head agaisnt a button hidden on the wall." - As [he] continued to lean back farther and farther?
There are also a lot of Chinese characters in this update. I assume that they are the result of incompatibility issues? They make reading the story a grating experience.
Last but not least, there is a minor physics issue I caught. You said that "The low gravity combined with force of the bullet launched the sniper into the air." Newton's Third Law dictates an equal but opposite reaction for every action. If the force in the bullet was enough to launch its victim into the air, the reaction force would also have knocked the shooter back unless he was strapped down.
| TorgoTheWhite chapter 1 . 9/23/2012
Seems like you have a very good grasp of the language as well as contemporary military tactics. You said that the story was supposed to be set in the future. The first chapter, however, seems to cover the War on Terror. Will we see a "skipping forward 200 years" in future chapters?