|Reviews for Somewhere|
| ArekuKawaii chapter 4 . 1/22/2013
I am interested as to know what your prompt was for this one. (Also, props to you for going with this as long as you did. I tried this and ended up quitting within the first month because I forgot one day and got all messed up)
I picked this poem over the other options because of the opening line.
As for the review:
Form: The first thing I noticed in this poem was the form because of the first line. I really liked how the word 'too.' was on its own line because it felt like a hesitation and gave a good feel to the poem. (I am assuming this is either about a prostitute or a one night stand from a club, I like interpreting it both ways) The word 'too.' being alone made it feel like a real life situation because just before sex or approaching someone for sex most people do have that hesitation. I also like the break up of the stanzas because it really broke up the different scenes which happen within a night random sex.
Descriptions/Images: My favorite line in the poem is the final line 'and eyes smeared with kohl.' because it gave me both the image of a prostitute or a girl with daddy issues whoring herself out for one night stands. I imagined a girl who would go home and cry and smear her eye makeup. (good job, this poem continued the story for me even after your words ended). I also enjoyed the imagery of 'heels blistering her feet' because it was the beauty of heels covering the ugly of the blisters. It made me imagine she put on a strong face despite her inner scars.
Punctuation: I like and dislike the lack of punctuation in this poem. I like it because it makes the poem awkward and adds to the tone like the line 'in the morning there is no words.' The lack of punctuation makes that line feel more real because there is a lack of communication with the lack of punctuation. I disliked the lack of punctuation because I wasn't sure where to pause within the poem. However, that could be really clever too because random sex just seems to explode in a flurry of action and then it is over without pause. (Or I am reading too much into it. :D)
Tone: I really liked the build up of the opening of this poem because it made me read the poem as if they were in love and cuddling with a sudden switch at the end. I liked the tone of the ending of the poem because it drew a really strong picture and feeling in my head. After reading the ending I wasn't so sure about my feeling of the opening because they were such opposite feelings.
Overall, good poem. It painted many images in my mind. :D
| LittleMonsters chapter 38 . 11/3/2012
You had me at Chapter 2. Looking forward to the next one.