Reviews for Hurt
Ashleigh M chapter 1 . 10/1/2012
This is so true. It touched my heart, because I have been there. My dad had a stroke when I was seven, and I was half way bullied that year. I was okay then, at a age eight, things weren't to bad, and the girls apologized at the end of the school year (I am home-schooled, so not much experience with all of this). But after I was bullied on my first mission trip when I was eleven (2010), then again at a conference when I was twelve (2011), things started really getting hard. That was in the spring. Back in 2010, on the mission trip, the girls had been ugly, then acted as if I was doing something wrong, and asked innocently if they had done something, so that I would come out looking bad either way. In December of last year, I cut for the first time, and I still have the scars. My mom losing her temper is normally what would trigger it. I just drug the knife back and forth across the top of my arm. I didn't know what I was doing, I was barely thirteen. Thankfully, I never became suicidal, but after doing it multiple times a day for about a week every two to three weeks, I knew I had to stop. I would do it like fifty scratches or morea day. They were just little ones, but I was using a box cutter or a really sharp knife and I knew I was getting in far too deep. I wasn't going deep, but every time I did it, especially when I had fewer cuts, I would just go deeper and deeper. It got where, after cutting, I would go to bed with something wet, like a wet washcloth, on my arm, it hurt so much afterwards, it just stung, physically and emotionally. Besides it looked like my arm had broken out it was so red. Once my mom even asked if I was breaking out. So on July 4th, I decided to stop. Independence Day, which is kind of cool. I messed up three weeks later, two weeks after that, and a week after that. Then about five and a half weeks ago I went to the youth leader's wife at our new church. Three weeks ago I went to my mom. Well I wrote her a letter and let it while I was at discipleship classes/choir. She freaked out and hasn't really stopped bothering me about it since. (She thinks it is witchcraft/occult, and asked me if I opened any doors to that kind of stuff.) Tomorrow (Tuesday 10/2/12), will be seven weeks since I did it, although I had a close call last week when EVERYTHING went wrong on Tuesday and 95% of things went wrong (except girls group) on Thursday. I had a play, and they had all but promised me the lead, then I got one of THE smallest parts, the smallest for anyone my age, or who as been in there as long as I have. Then I didn't do well in choir, and my roller blade wheels didn't come with bearings... Thank God, literally, all of this has staightened out now, so I am doing really well, with God's help. I never could have stopped without God's grace and His love, and His mercies, which He says are new every day. I have since wrote a Chronicles of Narnia fanfiction featuring this topic, and I am praying about how I can reach a larger audience. I am a writer, which is why I am on here, and I have written a book. I am thinking about writing a book featuring this topic, just a little at a time, as I work on my other stories. There is no hurry with it, I could never publish it before I move out of my parents house, so no hurry until September 2016, when I will be in college (I just turned 14). Anyway, I just wanted to share my testimony with you and tell you thank you for being so outspoken about this.

Möge Gott Mit Euch Sein Und Sein Segen Euch Begleiten,
Ashleigh