Reviews for Welcome To Olympus High Academy
jabari.binder chapter 1 . 9/14/2014
I love how you portrayed her confusion about leaving and staying at the school! I hope that there's more as soon a s possible! Can't wait!
Marguerite Grimmett chapter 1 . 7/3/2013
I really liked it! The writing is pretty good, you just need to add some punctuation and edit it a bit. Loved the title, BTW. :)
Kommissar chapter 1 . 3/15/2013
Hope you don't mind some constructive criticism!

Your dialogue is a bit of a mess in terms of format. Here's a quotation of a source I found that could be useful:

{Dialogue is written as "Hello," he said or "Hello!" he said, never "Hello." He said or "Hello." he said or "Hello," He said or "Hello" he said. The only exception to this is if the next sentence doesn't contain a speech verb, in which case it's written as "Hello." He grinned, never "Hello," he grinned or "Hello," He grinned or "Hello." he grinned. Note that something isn't a speech verb just because it's a sound you make with your mouth, so generally stuff like laughed or giggled is in the second category. Furthermore, if you're breaking up two complete sentences it's "Hi," he said. "This is it." not "Hi," he said, "this is it." or "Hi," he said "this is it." And if you're breaking up a sentence in the middle, it's "Hi. This," he said, "is it." If there's no speech verb in the break, you use a dash, like "Hi. This - " He looked around. "- is it." And the same punctuation and capitalization applies to thoughts.}

Aside from that, the chapter is a bit rushed. Things go by very fast and it does a lot of telling. Try to slow down and have characters express themselves through their actions.
Soraibi chapter 2 . 1/26/2013
Hmm, sounds like something interesting is going to happen. That Rosebuds High sounds this chapter it was kind of an introduction so I guess it's okay but to be honest it feels kind of bland and nothing much is happening but it is just the beginning so I'll keep reading.
Princess Adeline Ng chapter 6 . 1/16/2013
Hahaha... so this is the one that I edited! :) Okay... :)

This is cool...update soon! :)
Princess Priya chapter 2 . 1/6/2013
Story is nice . I liked it and hope u will continue to write stories based on school life . Keep it up!
Princess Adeline Ng chapter 4 . 12/3/2012
Hi, you reviewed on my story, so I will review on yours. Well this is pretty good, and please update!
Soraibi chapter 1 . 10/27/2012
Oooh, a thin and beautiful looking lady, I wonder if the main character will get jealous of her soon :D . Your description of the ten-year old reminds me of a friend and I'll continue to read this.
Debbie.Meg chapter 1 . 10/27/2012
preeetttyyy gud... for first glimpse...
Guest chapter 1 . 10/27/2012
good
Lips On Fire chapter 1 . 9/30/2012
Hey there.
Well, I'd like to start off first to mention about your issue with capitalizing all the words. It gave me a migraine to read even halfway through the story. Unless you have something to really emphasize on, I'd recommend you don't capitalize your words at all (Of course, unless it's for punctuation. That's a big yes-yes.). It would make the story much more bearable.
The plot is so far is okay, but try not to rush the important scenes, and also, try to make your dialogue more natural. Try to envision the character performing that particular speech - does it sound like what one would say in real life? Does it suit the character?
And the last issue is about spelling. Really, you should run a spell-check on your stories every time you post. There's absolutely no excuse in doing so.
If you address these issues, I'm positive the story would be a great read, so keep working hard! I wish you improvement and progress in your writing.

Lips On Fire