|Reviews for Maybe & the Wolf|
| L the wolf man chapter 1 . 12/5/2012
| Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 10/6/2012
Overall I think this is a very good beginning for your story, and I can tell it will be a consistent and fascinating read. I really liked how you used such powerful and delicate words together while describing Maybe’s character. She is represented almost like a fairytale character herself, but rather than a witch motivating her actions, its drugs. I liked how that mirrored life but also contained it in this setting, it worked splendidly, and I can’t imagine that that was easy to pull off on your part, so good job.
The only real critique I have at this point is that although for the most part the narration was very consistent I did have a hard time with the homeless man and the owl’s parts. I feel like you started very strongly, and then the drunken friend came along, and then the homeless man/owl, that part confused me, just because suddenly a lot of things happened at once. I really enjoyed the end though; I’m thinking already that this is going to be a fabulous story. Keep up the good work.
| Azure chapter 11 . 10/3/2012
Well...I am...completely stumped by the last chapter. Somehow what has happened is tragic but I'm not sure in what sense. Tragedy usually involves death, but could Maybe have somehow survived this...attack? What constitutes a tragedy? May not necessarily be death. What was the purpose of the old man and his gifts? Is this Lord a villain? Lots of questions! Despite my small confusion I love the world you've created. The details of it are rich/complex and the ending will keep me pondering. I love your story and the characters. Thank you for the excellent read!
| Azure chapter 8 . 10/3/2012
Hmmm... Well, I wasn't expecting that. War... I wonder if the old man is trying to protect her. Or are the characters of Kent only out for themselves.
| Azure chapter 6 . 10/3/2012
I knew something was up. Have yet to meet this "Grace" but if she's best pals with the Big Bad W himself, well...
Maybe seems like a very strong person. I'm backing her 100%!
| Azure chapter 2 . 10/3/2012
What a well written couple of chapters! I am shocked that there aren't more reviews! The story so far feels so otherworldly in a very good way. There's curious element here that begs to be explored. Will keep reading...
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 10/2/2012
Oh yay, this is back up! I always meant to read this, but then you took it down and I lost my chance. Alas!
I really like the atmosphere you've set up here, where a woman can meet a wolf at a train station in London and the reader can think nothing of it. There's a surreal sense to it that at the same time makes sense. You don't have to explain the wolf's presence on the track, he's just there, talking with Maybe about a party. The fact that she wasn't surprised by his presence makes the reader more accepting of him, and then makes the wolf more intriguing. What role, exactly, does he plan to play in Maybe's story? (Though I naturally have a few guesses.)
Your dialogue here was very good as well. Maybe's voice and the wolf's voice are already very distinct and separate, and what they say seems to reveal a lot about their personalities. I also thought that, in general, this was written very well—your prose is very efficient and clean, but beautiful at the same time. Your words flow elegantly from one thought to the next, and I never at any time felt jarred or jostled.
My only complaint comes from your portrayal of Maybe, and since it's so early I doubt it's an actual issue. Due to the nature of your storytelling, the reader is shown a very outward glimpse of who Maybe is—what she says, what she does, how she gestures. I, personally, prefer a more "inside the character" experience. However, I do understand that this type of story probably won't have that kind of character/reader experience, and, again, it's really too early to tell.
| The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 10/2/2012
I think you may have too much description in that first sentence; while it was interesting to find Maybe as a name, the rest seemed to lack any grounding ability. Perhaps fleshing it out, or spreading it a little would help the readability there.
My favourite line is the last one because it's a very interesting way of looking at originality. Nicely said too.
I feel you're overusing commas. There are a lot of places where it appears to impede the flow as opposed to assist.
Your animals are so adorable though, especially how you've brought out their personalities (or parts of them) from the get-go. Also ironic that the wolf is the one imparting wisdom.
[strange:if] - that should have a space after the colon.