|Reviews for Harem Wars|
| Jon Brae chapter 1 . 10/1/2012
Well, I will say this right off the bat: This should be rated M, not T. The graphic talk of sex and sexual themes is both out of place, awkward and not appropriate for a 13 year old.
Secondly, there some grammar errors that need to be looked out for. Also, I don't understand why you shy away spelling your explitives in one sentence, then write it out fully in another. Makes no sense and is honesty, makes poor writing.
As far as the story, I think it is very truncated and rushed. We don't get much of a backstory and the events that take place in a few paragraphs should take a few chapters to evolve.
Overall I didn't really understand most of it. If they are Christians, why do they use such foul language and speak openly about sexuality. Plus, the sexuality seemed to dominate all the dialogue, and was not explained.
| kaiheitai chapter 1 . 10/1/2012