|Reviews for Wanderer in Lesyia|
| Christopher chapter 1 . 10/5/2012
You want to watch your tenses. In several places you switch from present to past tense, which is extremely jarring for your readers. Something to be conscious of.
| Kevin Velez chapter 2 . 10/5/2012
In this chapter, there were even more grammar mistake. At the same time, it seems to me that your have a problem with the tense. Several times you changed between past and present tense.. It is very bothersome to read, and should be changed quicky.
Once again, make sure not to ask for reviews, since that should be up to the reader to leave one or not. As a fellow writer, you should continue writing your story with or without reviews.
| Kevin Velez chapter 1 . 10/5/2012
There were many grammar issues and party spelled words. I suggest you quickly go back and change that whenever you can.
Even though Werewolves are not original and the while collar choking to death if transformed is neither, the new world may be a bit different.
Also, I suggest that begging for a review should be stopped and taken out of the chapter(s). It Is very childish and unprofessional.
There are many readers that would not hesitate to completely stop reading at the sight of this. I honestly only reviewed because I have not reviewed a fantasy story for awhile, and you were just lucky that I do not have the time right now to read another.
In the story, it is stated that the protagonists/narrator created the world of Lesyia. You should expand on that within the next two chapters.