|Reviews for Unfinished AKA (And Kick-Ass) RPG|
| Ckh chapter 15 . 10/1/2017
I consumed this story in one sitting a few months back. It was sweet and awfully entertaining for something written in 18 days - 9/10. I could definitely see this as a template of sorts for GG.
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 15 . 12/16/2014
Um, hm... the last part.
Ah... letting go of Mayu, at least Yukio had learnt to let go of that past, what was not meant to be.
Great, Yukio got an immortal GF. Oh, wait, is she? Guess she's human right now.
Well, that ends things just right.
To quote someone: 'Somehow you took just thirty thousand words and made me love a whole character cast, a whole crazy plotline, and just this whole story, and then tied up all of your plotlines and closed it off in the most perfect way...'
The ending is a little bit predictable, but you created the atmosphere and the build-up well (and putting tears in some readers eyes, lol). It's not a story without flaws or 'meh' moments, but for something written in 18 days... *claps*
It's a fun, cathartic ride.
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 14 . 12/14/2014
It haz to be a big chapter, I knew it haz to be!
Wordcount says 5k words. OWO
'"Are you sure you would be able to form the Titanroid 2000 with such numbers?"' - form? owo
'"Deary me, Reaper buddy," it sighed.' - the italic indicates that the speaker is the Warper, but the word 'it' confused me for a few seconds there, making me wonder whether the scythe was suddenly speaking, lol.
'"Onnanoko magic!"' - the cheesiest, most ridiculous spell name, imo. -w- And ridiculous spell too, ofc.
'"I hate the three laws of robotics."' - *squees at the Asimov reference*
'Yukio searched for the closest wall and started banging his head against it.' - lol, the right thing to do
'There was empty click.' - [an empty]
'"BANKAI!"' - I snickered. Wth, Katsu? 'The majesty was poetically ephemeral.' - Again, wth, Katsu?
'Lord Zeus took off his headset.' - lol, Zeus fighting grim reaper's fashion guru inside a mecha driven by ten genies? That's beyond Seventh Sanctum-y!
'He looked at the huge disparity in the health bars hovering above the treetops.' - I know that feel, Yukio. I know that feel.
'I'm sorry that I created so many forms for the dark lord!' - I seriously want some RPG designers say these words.
'But androids have dreams too.' - Another reference! Amazing!
'But R's move is not about power. It's about his despair at being unable to protect the people he loved.' - lol'd at the genre-savvy cliche. Oh, correction, cliches.
Yeah, the Overseer is awesome...
And that jarring ending...
And that little bit of chat between the Overseer and Zeus... I demand a sequel!
Well, there's still the epilogue...
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 13 . 12/14/2014
*sees the long chapter* *prepares goggles*
'He inhaled them with a blissful smile.' - Kenichi spotted.
'"And she went through a pretty traumatising experience herself."' - rofl
'"You know, if you get any angrier the heat is enough to boil off your clothes and I'll see-"' - wrong choice, Yukio, you don't know what the gal had gone through.
'"But that's impossible! Aki couldn't possibly fall in-"' - DUN DUN DUN
'"You can cut short your self advertisement Seiji..."' - [self-advertisement] '"Certainly, miss," Seiji nodded his head, his joins creaking.' - [joints]
'...she had already ceased to be Akinythimunthosliawerthu the perverted genie...' - a pervert's nightmare indeed... unless he's the kind to welcome it with open arms...
'She wanted to keep the current one badly.' - oho
Katana vs rocket launchers ftw! To quote someone: 'Missiles! Cause if they don't hit, it just means you're not firing enough!'
D'aww, the long-awaited Yukio x Mayu! But then, there's a confused Aki...
'"My master will forgive me."' - Love the butler's 'voice'.
And... the juggler arrives. I can tell that we're approaching the climax! Very enjoyable story, so far, even with its simplicity, I wished it's more than just 33k words! You even put some romansu.
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 12 . 12/13/2014
'No genie heeded his call; they were all engaged in conspiracy theories...' - lol
'"...in the wake of the horrors that we have witnessed on television."' - loool...
Titanroid 2000? I smell mecha. *w*
Oh, so Katsu is the sleeping Overseer.
Oh... incoming Daisuke punch! XD
And... just realized... Erebyn... on chapter 11! Gasp! Your writing foreshadow weird things, Katsu-kun.
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 11 . 12/12/2014
Haruka reminds me of Erebyn *shotgunned*
Haruka X Daisuke OTP! *w*
Strip... *facepalms* Genietube is just gonna explode, isn't it?
Now, Haruka is an interesing character alright... yeah, this story has quite a few of those. True, there's the right-out-of-the-oven feels, but it's fun and easy to read.
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 10 . 12/11/2014
Wait, wat? Looks like my question of whether mute librarian or Mayu was invalid. *w*
Lol, she's going to kill Yukio for making her a mute 'cartoon'.
Well, good twist. This will probably give us a chance to better show her personality.
'"—!—!—!—!"**' - rofl. The funniest line I've ever read for a while, serious! XD
Oiling the joints...
Dang! For once, Yukio got one thing right: Mute is moe.
Dat rocket launcher... and joke book...
I'm a little bit in haste at the moment, but overall, the funny is back in this chapter, and sounds quite unique too... -w-b
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 9 . 12/10/2014
'"Why on earth is a guy trying to impersonate a woman with two watermelons…"' - lol... and ouch
'It was such an normal, friendly request' - [a]
'He recalled the brutal ending that he had set in stone for her and shuddered.' - ouch. You just made me feel guilty.
'"She suffers from tea allergy."' - lol
A sudden, dark twist.
'You are really screwed Yukio. You really are.' - uh huh.
Uh huh, things just got serious.
Lol, to quote a reviewer: "...I agree with Edge, BRING BACK THE FUNNY!"
And of course, "Ah Warper, you troll. I don't know if I hate you or love you but you are awesome." *w*
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 8 . 12/9/2014
The Warper... Katsu, is that you? owo
All for a figurine...? But Zeus is a pervert, even in RL mythos. But still, to have that godly 'influence', I pity Aki...
Soldiers in maid outfits... o_o Yukio has quite a... weird taste.
Hm, the fact that you don't show the dark lord's appearance and all... makes me wonder if he's actually... could he be someone we know? *knowing smile* No sense of humor, juggling...
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 7 . 12/7/2014
Almost halfway through the story!
Well, I guess I know now why Kisho memorized the name. -w- Just in case she got genderbent into/shot
'How dare you taint the the might and prowess of R!' - [the]. Typo.
'(censored due to its obscene nature)' - ehhh... overlooking that... -w-"
Genderbending pains... eep.
Lol, Yukio becomes Kirito for a while...
Eh, what's with the merchant?
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 6 . 12/6/2014
And... a shorter chapter.
Whoah. Aki's luck is really the worst... to get 5 million views from perverted guys while being genderbent... and stealing some male hearts...
'The next moment, the remains of a uniform and ribbon smouldered on the floor.' - lol
Feels like a filler, but probably will have some further significance!
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 5 . 12/5/2014
Whoah. Quite longer than the usual chapter. Well, I'm putting on my hard hat, just in case, for the incoming madness.
'Yukio struggled to keep down his perverted urges.' - uh... o.o Still, yeah, a ponytail'd genie turning into moe moe magical girl is unnerving, and not just in a perverted way. No, I don't mean it in the perverted way either! 'Remember before you descend down to the path of no return!' - derp. 'And now you turn me into a fantasy of disgusting otakus?' - eep. But, still, Yukio, (smirk) weren't you the one who created that character?
'SMACK!' - yep, before Kenichi.
'"And now you are following the teachings of Jesus."' - I snorted. Never seen that one coming. I saw that, damn you.
'"...I am planning to try out a Daisuke punch."' - ohsh-
'"This is an insane difficulty curve."' - lol, perfect line when you are literally inside an RPG.
'"Played around too much with the seventh sanctum monster generator?"' - XD '"Frogs ribbit, my dear R."' - XD Dang I should've counted points for this chapter! '"You might want to change the sound file for this monster when you get back."' - XDD '"...with my nameless move."' - I've no idea why, but all these poking the fourth wall of RPG gaming (without poking the fourth wall of the story itself) is very amusing, even when I'm not an RPG junkie myself! (has written two RPG stories.) Oh, shut it!
'...as Aki puked herself sick upon witnessing the uncensored violence.' - lol wat!
'"WTF is going on?"' - trolled by the past you. Double ouch!
'"His luck is going to be terrible with me around."' - OH THAT! OH THAT! XDD
Lol, even Big Foot is sick of their antics. Agh... pains of a level 1 boss!
'He lifted the sword with a fluorish.' - [flourish]
'"This is turn by turn. I can do it in my own sweet time. That way, I can't possibly miss."' - okay, stupidly clever logic there.
No, Big Foooot! ;w;
'...only to be disappointed by the lack of blood.' - lol Yukio, not the pure-hearted protagonist, huh...
'...reprogram R's victory pose to something that reflects his character.' - XD
And... thus, Katsu's genderbending wand is invented. Seriously... wat, Aki? O.o
The hard hat! They do nothing! *coughs* If every chapter is like this, I should buy an inhaler.
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 4 . 12/5/2014
'...when they first saw someone performing juggling acts with the weights.' Lol, okay, that Daisuke... How the heck did Mayu end up with him? Although... you did manifest the jock trope into a comic personification. And the female lead HAS to be that insensible to fall for that kind of person...
'Her lips curled up in an mild expression...' - [a] Yep. From the oven. :p
'...and his new record in juggling (which was broken on a daily basis).' - lol
'"It's broken, miss." A woman carrying a basket loaded with groceries said behind the couple.' - Wong is going to breathe fire if he found out you made a dialogue punctuation mistake, lol. Jk.
Okay... ominous smell...
Let's see where this leads...
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 3 . 12/3/2014
'In his dreams, the punch hurt as well.' - lol
'Akinythimunthosliawerthu...' - Kisho said she memorized it.
'"I tease people when I am scared to death."' - oh mai. This will be fun. :D
'"Do you want the long or abridged version about the tale of Gyilfi the wise old genie?"' - I thought this is an attempt for Aki to make Yukio prematurely make a request, which will be interpreted as a wish.
Hm, I wonder if Lord Zeus will really make a significant appearance in this story...
Well, at least this is finally one of those RPG-based stories in the manga section that doesn't ring of SAO... Let's see, easy to read, easy to go through, promises some wacky and whacky adventures...
Said a reviewer: "Gah, I find Yukio's wish depressing and logical. I mean, he doesn't seem to have a job let alone any money. Goodness, 'I want my beloved to be happy'. It just stings man..." - that was deep. Still, can't wait to see whether he ends up with moe moe sign-language-chan, or with the more tangible Mayu? Or both? Or neither?
| Daniel Kozaki chapter 2 . 12/3/2014
Headbanging MC, huh.
'And it frightened him, as it would frighten an aspiring novelist after throwing his novel out into the internet only to have them simply lie abandoned, the stories left unexplored.' - subtle self-reference?
Just out of curiosity, did you write anything before AKA and GG?
But, seriously, four years of programming is a nightmare, and just the thought makes me cringe.
'...Yukio's laughter contrasted with the tears now streaming down his face.' - X'D
The exaggerated perfect-man love rival who's also a jerk trope...
'The lamp bounced off his head.' - Katsu-esque end. XD