|Reviews for Unfinished AKA (And Kick-Ass) RPG|
| Jax Creation chapter 11 . 12/16/2012
Man, Haru-chan could totally take on the dark lord. She'd pummel him to a pulp, really don't see why she needs help \
Her attitude at the end of the fight with Dente reminds me a little of Kyo from Samurai Deeper Kyo when he uses Mizuchi. (cue deep voice) "Did you hear it? The sound of the wind." *blood spurt*
And Aki... striptease... Ffffffft! XD But... his mentality has become totally feminine, ne?
Dun dun dun! Mayu and Yukio meet! Recognition? Hmm... I wonder.
| Jax Creation chapter 10 . 12/16/2012
Mayu is a mute librarian...?
*recalls the moment when Yukio entered the game world*
Wait... is he going to!... at the end?!
| Jax Creation chapter 9 . 12/16/2012
...I agree with Edge, BRING BACK THE FUNNY!
And as for the awkward yaoi elements, I have no problem with them. Happens in every gender-bender. Hilarity always stems from it. XD
Anyway, you're very good at writing serious drama y'know. Wouldn't mind seeing a slice-of-life story from you :3
| Jax Creation chapter 8 . 12/16/2012
Eeeh, I am not sure how I feel about the addition of the Warper...
But Daisuke as the Dark Lord... ahahaha! That totally fits his character XD This Haruka is interesting though. Is she the real Mayu? Or is "Mayu" the real Mayu? *eyeballs begin to swirl*
I'm thinking about this too much, aren't I?
| Jax Creation chapter 7 . 12/16/2012
"You forgot the principle of equivalent exchange."
*"She headed over to the departing merchant and greeted [him]."
*"Aki mimicked Hujk's deadpan[,] [(no line break)] "I'm watching."
Lol, so the NPCs can't react to Aki, but they can react to anything (s)he changes about R? XD Oh, this is going to be interesting...
| Jax Creation chapter 6 . 12/16/2012
Hujk's reverie regarding Aki was funny XD
... but already knew that Daisuke and Mayu were going to mix things up so nothing new there.
| Jax Creation chapter 5 . 12/16/2012
"Yukio turned and saw a magical girl hovering above his shoulder, weeping into her hands."
—Lmao XD Gender-bender! x3
*"The darkness appeared unwilling [to let] him to find out."
*"Don't[,] you idiot!"
"Played around too much with the seventh sanctum monster generator?"
—Love the 7th Sanctum generators XD
*"Frogs ribbit[,] my dear R."
*"Says the one who is the master of them."
*"[The] game is cheating!"
*[There was] A short pause. /
"I'll pay you back later." [said who?]/
Yukio ignored [the] comment.
Rawr... (*_*) screw you Aki, RPGs are awesome!
Lmao, so much hilarity! The ending...! XD
Aaaah, can totally see this as manga XD
| Jax Creation chapter 4 . 12/16/2012
*"A curious sight greeted the commuters in the train heading towards the suburbs: [tons] of shopping bags hung from Daisuke Shiinichiro's heels as he did pull-ups from the support railing."
—tons is a measure of weight as opposed to number. A plain old number would work better here methinks... but at the same time, the weight thing falls in line with the next part of the sentence so that could very well make my argument redundant XP
—Lmao, but him in a dress... Oh god, he'd be like the maid cafe guys from Ore-sama Teacher... bahahahaha! *falls out of chair*
*Typo: "She missed the conspicuous[-]looking lamp..."
...Daisuke and Mayu in the game...
TANK! TYPICAL FEMALE HEALER-TYPE CHARACTER!
—Okay, better shut up before my inner geek hulks its way out.
Goodness, this is fun to read. XD
| Jax Creation chapter 3 . 12/16/2012
*""Hi there," Yukio smiled. "You have dressed up well for a bollywood dancer who hides behind the tree and goes[—]GYAAAA!""
*"Wake up you idiot," Daisuke said, [only] his voice didn't sound like Daisuke.
""Let me mentally prepare myself for a battle against reality, lest you decide to wish for a huge feast and the side effects turn me into roasted chicken or something.""
—Side effects eh? Is that why he...? *spoiler*
Nyaaa... this is really easy to read. :3 I love it already XD
I am sensing a great adventure on the other side of that portal. Real-life RPG!
I want a genie! x3
| TheBloodEdge chapter 15 . 12/16/2012
Aww. So NTRyu will forever keep her nickname. Heh.
Aww. He remembered Aki's full name. How sweet...
Okay, I'll just say this. Aki was relieved of his duty as a genie and was sent to Earth reincarnated as a human woman. Shut up, it's canon. Hence, the Aki seen here is not the same Aki we've been following, rather, it's a human reincarnation with the exact same memories! CANON. I SAY. CANON.
| TheBloodEdge chapter 14 . 12/16/2012
Mecha. Check. Sentai parody IN SPACE! Check. BANKAI! Check. Awesome enough.
Oookay, the Overseer is awake! I think I comprehend it now! Somewhat. I think. She seems to be quite a dozy person. Like, I want to sleep, stop messing with the universe my stupid pet!
Aki's not dead. Come on. It was too simple a death. It was heart wrenching, but too simple to be believable.
Daisuke boss fight! Yukio actually becomes awesome. Heh. Stupid Senji ran out of missiles. Only foolish fools run out of missiles!
| Jax Creation chapter 2 . 12/16/2012
"Yukio Sato banged his head on the table in despair."
—Lmao, I like him already XD
"He banged his head on the table again, rattling the coffee cup... He took the cup and hurled it against the wall. The smashed cup fell in a scatter of glass."
—Repetition. Would be smoother is the 2nd 'cup' was 'it' or 'mug' or some other synonym, and the last line read: "It smashed and dell in a scatter of glass." (Aren't coffee cups/mugs made out of porcelain?)
"And it frightened him, as an aspiring novelist would after throwing his novel out into the internet and then it simply lay abandoned, the stories left unexplored."
"And it frightened him, as it would frighten an aspiring novelist after throwing his novel out into the internet only to have them simply lie abandoned, the stories left unexplored."
—But love the FP reference XD
*"I'm good," Yukio lied. "Hey listen, [do you] mind if I join you?"
Oookay, and that's enough of me nit-picking. I will try to abstain for the rest of the story (otherwise I won't finish in time XD) but I'm happy to go back and be nit-picky for the other chapters if you want me to later.
Anyway, love Yukio's character. :3 Scares me a little how much I can relate to him. I sense an ominous future ahead for me... (-w-) This is what it's gonna be like when I graduate from my degree isn't it!? (TT_TT) Why am I doing I.T.!? *bangs head against desk*
Ahem, that aside, love the humour—the little jokes and references too. So funny! Yukio meeting Daisuke... bahahaha! XD
I think the comedy in this is going to be right up my alley. x3
| TheBloodEdge chapter 13 . 12/16/2012
Dammit...! I want my funnies! I want to cry even though the scenes are supposed to be funny! Dammit, what's with this sudden burst of seriousness, seriously?
Should I change NTRyu's nickname to Vanillayu now? We'll just have to wait and see...
Missiles! Cause if they don't hit, it just means you're not firing enough!
Yukio, NTRyu and Daisuke. They finally are about to meet...
| TheBloodEdge chapter 12 . 12/16/2012
Huh. Looks like some epic battle with MECHAS is about to ensue against the Warper.
Wait, did Daisuke just become the dark lord or am I an idiot?
| TheBloodEdge chapter 11 . 12/16/2012
Huh. Haruka can't beat the dark lord? But she punched him through a wall last time. TWICE!
I would so approve of the striptease if I didn't know that Aki was a guy beforehand. See, that's why I tend to avoid genderbenders.
Oookay, it looks like some drama's about to unfold!