|Reviews for A Storm|
| KayMacD chapter 2 . 10/6/2012
I like this story so far. It's got a good premise; it's an idea I'd be eager to see the end of.
You might want to get some sort of spell check. I'm pretty sure that instead of 'pheasant' you want to say 'peasant.' I only say this because a pheasant is a bird, while a peasant is a poor citizen. Kinda sends a strange message. :)
Besides that, the only thing you really have to watch are commas. I can see you're putting them where you want the reader to pause, but you shouldn't do that. Just make sure to reread the chapter a couple times before you put it up.
Really, though, I like where this is going and I like your style of writing. Update soon!