Reviews for the bottom of the ocean
Ophelia Schmit chapter 1 . 10/7/2012
I like the 'home' feeling in it, but it's supposed to be a poem, not a paragraph. Let me show you how much better something looks in poem form:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.

Shakespeare's Sonnet No. 18, obviously not mine. You see its structure? Now look at it without the structure:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds on May, And summer's lease hath all too short a date.

It just makes a difference. And capitalization is essential in a story.

-Hermie