Reviews for A Plain Jane Book One
luzanima chapter 1 . 1/31
I know I haven't been around to comment on one of your stories in so long, but I just found this one and am excited to start reading a new work of yours! Hope that the self-publishing is going successfully :)
ash chapter 20 . 4/13/2013
i absolutely love this story ! great characters and an amazing story! i like how the male protagonist isn't cocky,arrogant or the brooding nice guys make awesome heroes :) so yeah, i love Lucas a lot! and Jane really does well in being plain. i like how she didnt suddenly become some fearsome heroine within some chapters,she sticks to her character. i like the focus of your writing ,hoping for some lucasxjane major moment in book2. a must read! 3
Nyx'sReincarnation chapter 21 . 12/10/2012
Amazing amazing story! I absolutely love the way it ends, but at the same time it infuriates me! I can't figure out how to get the next one! I love how you spread the storyline out eavenly, not skipping over parts or dragging them out. It would be interesting to see a sheet with the different species on it... it does get a little confusing, but that's just me because I get confused easily and now you're probably confused too (I know I am) so I'll shut up. XD
Keep up the amazing work! :) (:
Tarah xXx
Lance Peterson chapter 21 . 12/10/2012
Great story! Looking forward to book 2.
pille-ip chapter 21 . 10/12/2012
Ups, I've breathed it in in one batch... 2am, groggy, but what an amazing and captivating story it has been!
jammi chapter 1 . 10/12/2012
On my lunch break so I thought I'd give this a go. One of the first things that popped out at me is the number of times she called herself plain. It gets really repetitive and I sort of want to skip. I know you probably have a reason for it, the story is called Plain Jane, but it feels like a lot of showing instead of telling and for someone who escapes to her own world in her mind, calling herself plain and boring so often when she knows she isn't feels strange.

Describe her character through her actions and the way the people around her treat her a bit more, don't just have her tell us she's plain or boring.

I like that you imply that she's not human in the beginning when she makes a comment along the lines of having heard about the dreams that humans had or that the humans had started calling her plain Jane, putting herself outside of the human category without having her come out and say 'I'm not human' when she was just thinking since that would've felt awkward.

This chapter reads quite a bit formally, at first I thought it was to showcase that she's alien to us, but even then, it throws me off when 'hadn't' is 'had not' and 'cannot' all the time, it doesn't flow as smoothly.

Since I printed off the first few chapters to read on the train home ( I did that with Witch's Bell as well, but it's harder to find each chapter break) I'll probably also do a more indepth type review if I remember to bring a pen to write my thoughts out while I read them.

I wonder why her humanizes machines though, that seems a strange quirk, although seeing as how everyone else finds her boring and has no problem saying so, I can imagine a little girl getting into the habit of speaking to AI's since they don't judge and they can 'think' and respond up to a point.
rachelontheramble chapter 21 . 10/12/2012
Hi Odette, Really excited about this new story. In the beginning I had some concerns, especially regarding the first three or four chapters, where there was a lot of repetition about Jane's plainness, ordinariness and so on. So I found myself skimming through the chapters, missing whole paragraphs, but still getting a sense of the story. I really found myself invested in the universe of the story once Jane started acting/ was acted upon, to be exact. I do understand that from the context of the story, the overwhelming onslaught of Jane's ordinariness in your descriptions was meant to mimic in many ways the sheer control that the implant had over her thought processes. Still I feel that perhaps because the unique universe of the story is so vivid and so carefully wrought out in your mind, you may tend to over describe at times and that detracts from the pleasure of reading and imagining on our own. There are the occasional typos and overall I think the book would benefit immensely from some tight editing. Nevertheless, I am stunned by the creativity and diversity of your stories and the range of mythologies and universes they deploy... Your mind must be an interesting place :) Good luck with the sales of the Book and I wish I could learn more about how the story turned out. Rachel
Bubbly Girl chapter 21 . 10/11/2012
Well gosh now I just HAVE to read the next book! :)
Peace, Love and Happiness! :)
Bubbly Girl
Bubbly Girl chapter 18 . 10/11/2012
Oh my goodness things are definitely getting complicated! :) Your typos are extremely minor-normally just one letter off: In fact, the more she started at it, the more she was sucked into the strange concentration that seemed to be expressed over the assassin robot's rather plain and simple face. Instead of "started" I think you meant "stared." :) I can't believe that she hacked the robot! Awesome! :)
Peace, Love and Happiness! :)
Bubbly Girl
Bubbly Girl chapter 16 . 10/11/2012
So yeah, another typo. :) This one seriously had me laughing for a while until I realized how stupid I was being. :) Here it is: Lucas finally keyed in the code that opened the door at the end of the ship, and he braced himself as it finally opened with a pneumatic kiss. Haha "kiss"! :) Cracked me up! :) I think you meant "hiss." :) Things are getting seriously intense! :)
Peace, Love and Happiness! :)
Bubbly Girl
Bubbly Girl chapter 15 . 10/11/2012
So me and my annoyingness strick again. :) I found another typo: But she was starting to get the impression that even if she didn't know, a part of her seemed too. - I think you meant "to" instead of "too." I don't want to offend you or anything but I am just such a grammar freak that I can't help but point it out. I am totally not downing on your story (It is amazing so far! :)), I am just trying to help you. :)
Peace, Love and Happiness! :)
Bubbly Girl
P.S. I will try out smashwords first (as I have never used it before) before I email you for a copy of the second book. :)
Bubbly Girl chapter 14 . 10/11/2012
Haha okay so I read this part: 'If he wanted her dad, why didn't he just use the containment field when we were out of the room?' Priya asked, her eyes narrowing visibly. And I was like what the heck, right? Because I thought that she like knew Jane's dad or something and I got hilariously confused. :) I stared at it for a solid minute before I realized that instead of "dad" you probably meant "dead." Anyways I just wanted to share the typo and my stupidity with you. :)
Peace, Love and Happiness! :)
Bubbly Girl
Bubbly Girl chapter 4 . 10/11/2012
So you said "She is an old girl," When I think you meant to say that she is an odd girl. Just thought I'd point that out! :) I am really loving the story so far and I love being able to see both points of view! :)
Peace, Love and Happiness! :)
Bubbly Girl
Bubbly Girl chapter 1 . 10/11/2012
Oh my goodness! You have been extremely busy! :) I can't wait to see what you have in store for me! :) So have you already put the second book up for sale? I know that I will be dying to read it once I finish the first book! :) I'm super excited to read this one so I'm just going to shut up and get on with my reading now! :) I just wanted to let you know how excited I am! :)
Peace, Love and Happiness! :)
Bubbly Girl