|Reviews for The Irresolute Hitman|
| Jackson Farrow chapter 1 . 10/22/2012
An interesting piece, the mind of a novice hit-man discovers its easier to take the contract then it is to take a life. Excellently captured Smiles. :)
| Faithless Juliet chapter 1 . 10/13/2012
I liked how you maintained a storytelling aspect throughout this, it felt like a novella put to verses which can be really hard to do, so great job with that. I also liked how you gave your character a wide range of emotions throughout, everything from apprehension to excitement to dread to elation, you pretty much mapped all the way across the board, which makes an enriching experience for the reader.
On kind of a side note, I wonder what the piece would look like if you went into more detail about why he took the job. Throughout your expose his fear of performing the act it makes me wonder why he was driven to becoming a hit man in the first place. Keep up the good work.
| Gravind Divine chapter 1 . 10/12/2012
I love it! The last paragraph is awesome! Good job!
| this wild abyss chapter 1 . 10/12/2012
I enjoyed the story here, told by the mysterious and unnamed narrator. You conveyed the scene and situation very well. However, you slowly build up to this moment where the killer pulls the trigger, which was very nice, but then the final paragraph lessens the effect, as it pulls the reader out of the moment and into a contemplative scene. It would have been more impacting to end the poem on "[...] as it explodes into his head".
| Key Atlas chapter 1 . 10/12/2012
"You've excepted a contact." You forgot the r in contract.
I love how Deep Rasping Breaths each have their own line.
This is a great poem. I'm suprised that you didnt make it so he didnt kill the guy.