|Reviews for I Love You|
| Keith Keitherson chapter 1 . 8/9/2013
... You know. Only just a few days ago. I was staring my friend. And I just said or did nothing because I was trying to think. To put how I felt about her in my mind... This is mostly it... wow
| Wonder46 chapter 1 . 2/20/2013
Oh no D: I would hate for this to happen to me. I can't say I love the lack of happily-ever-after, but I love everything else about it XD
| DarkInkyDreamer chapter 1 . 10/25/2012
Very beautiful and emotive :)
| Seiren Cross chapter 1 . 10/20/2012
This is amazing...
Its so sweet and thoughtful
| Irish Eyes 63 chapter 1 . 10/19/2012
Absolutely awesome! This was thrilling to read and reread and reread again!
A few mistakes, however, that I'm sure you already caught, but just in case, I'll let you know [:
"Would you laugh and mock me for wearing my heart of my sleeve?" Is it supposed to be 'on' instead of 'of'? 'I wish I could just pour those three little words out but I know once there out it'll be harder to cram them back inside my mouth.' I thiiiiink that it's meant to be 'they're,' but I'm not exactly positive on that one. It seems more correct with they're, but don't hold me to it! 'I'll fight to conceal the sadness that I've sunk into, I'll wipe off my tears before you have chance to see them.' Between 'have' and 'chance,' I believe that either 'the' or 'a' should be interjected. I think that maybe even after the second comma, there should be a semi colon to take the place of a comma! But that's because I love semi colons, so I could be totally biased right now :D 'And I miss you or do I not count in this?' Should either have a comma to separate the two ideas, or you should use those cool little set of dots ... ... like that! 'I have one chance to say something I have wanted to say for years.' Inserted 'that' between 'something' and 'I'. 'It seems as if the words between as are better not spoken allowed.' 'As' should be 'us' :P
ON TO MY FAVORITE PARTS. Unfortunately , I had to limit this down -.-
'You're like the autumn sun after a summer of rain. I could dry off in your rays because I'm drenched from head to toe, after years on the outside. But even the sun has to set as all good things must come to an end.' Legit one of the best lines I have ever read. Like, ever. There was little leap between the drenched state of the main character and the 'years on the outside' because I didn't really grasp the full meaning until the end of the one-shot until the whole plot clicked. So, it could be a tad bit sharper with its meaning on that specific part, but I seriously love love love the comparison. Honestly brilliant :D
'I don't want to run after you when you're not running towards me.' Oh yes. Very short, but extremely powerful and complex. I had a very bright mental video with a girl watching a guy running away, which this quote obviously drew up. Awesome!
'It's as if this quiet contemplation of mine has snapped you out of your own thoughts; you look at me as if you've suddenly noticed I'm alive. You're eyes blazing with a sense of desperation, anger and loss; like a toxic cocktail that's already flowing around your system and is slowly eating you alive.' HOLY SEMI COLONS, I LOVE IT. I liked the use of toxic cocktail, definitely interesting and has a certain ring to it that reminds me of Buffy the Vampire Slayer for some reason. The 'slowly eating you alive' is strong, but toxins don't do that. They corrode the inside and damage the tissues, which in a way is what love does. I can only assume that this toxic cocktail is code for love, and that I'm reading wayyyy too deep into this.
'This distance between us seems to stretch on for eternity.' I felt like a genie at this point, because it was so emotional and sad, I just knew that the one admitting their feelings for the guy wasn't going to end up happy. So kudos for creating a statement that gave the reader a chance to know the ending before it ever came about.
I loved this sososo much! Seriously, awesome job with the format and all the intense feelings that you had to weasel out. It's difficult to write in this form, but I find it to be the most rewarding because the characters have the potential to be separate from the readers, but they allow that bridge so that connections can be made. I can't anything else other than great job! And continue being an amazing author with unique lines and comparisons that make people think! You're phenomenal!
| professional griefer chapter 1 . 10/19/2012
Well, I thought it was a bit confusing. With the bolding and italicizing instead of quotation marks, it was hard to follow what was happening.
I really liked your descriptions though, they were nice clear pictures.
Just, for oneshots you have to have a tiny bit of setup. You have to introduce the characters and it helps, if there's more than one, to give them names. I know you were doing it in the second person, but maybe give the 'her' a name? It just got a bit jumbled.
Also, the setting was vague, and I just kind of pictured them in a white space.
It was nicely worded, too, I think you've gotten a lot better in general.
I'm not trying to be mean or anything with this, just helpful.
You did a really good job over all, though.
| AppleCrumble chapter 1 . 10/17/2012
Beautiful. Really one of the best one-shots I've read. I'm speechless. This is unbelievable. Don't change a word - promise. Amazing, really perfect. I cannot find words to explain how much I love this. Definitely favouriting this right now :-D
| phantom130 5 chapter 1 . 10/16/2012
So cute and really good writing. :P
I wonder who it's about :P
| True Talker chapter 1 . 10/16/2012
I have read this and it has made me think. I PLAN ON DOING something on Friday which PROVES that I DO CARE. Why on Friday? Because there isn't enough time prior to work and time zones are different. If that makes sense. Why did I type this here? Because your words brought more out of me. That is why.
| TheGlycoprotein chapter 1 . 10/15/2012
Oh this was SO worth waiting for. It's just... ahhhh! Speechless! I love it! There are a couple of teensy weensy errors (I think), that might just be down to typing, but that's me being terribly terribly picky on a wonderful one shot! Nice one! :D