Reviews for The Complex
VelvetyCheerio chapter 11 . 12/14/2012
I called it, didn't I? Next victim: Mark Vaughn, I just know it! Dx

That guy is a butthole, though, he deserves it. I hate it when teachers have standards that high. I mean, I know America's school system is absolute shit and maybe every teacher should push their standards higher, but they don't know if they have a killer in their class. They don't know!

I like Tom, too. :3 He's kind of like a healthier, taller, more talkative version of Des. Sort of. Okay he's not like Des at all. XD But he is very fun and energetic. I just hope he doesn't get on Julius's nerves too much, I don't want him to die.

I'm enjoying the change in character Mikey seems to be going through. The stress and anxiety appear to be peeking through and I want to see how the relationship between Julius and him will change, if any. I think these changes are believable just as well, as it would seem a lot of friendships are made and broken in those first years of university.

Hopefully things will work out with Des. Hopefully he's not already dead or something worse. D: But I agree with Julius, getting away from that only memory laden town should be good for him. Give him a new perspective. Maybe he'll eat and be healthy. :[ I just want him to be all right.

Velvet.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 10 . 12/14/2012
Surprisingly, this chapter didn't hurt me as much as the others. Maybe I'm still shell-shocked, maybe it was the warm fuzzies at the end cushioning my descent into pure, unadulterated sorrow. Either way, I took this better than I thought I would.

On that note, I like how this chapter ended.

["I promise, I'll never leave you as long as I live."] My feels. All of them. ;-;

This chapter really showed just how much the roles are reversed between Des and Jules. I mean, the other chapters have obviously showed Jules being the "older" brother, but I think this chapter, especially that line, really solidified it for me. And that makes me really sad because Jules has to be the more mature one in the relationship, not crying and being strong even though he's younger. I mean, this makes me kind of mad at Des because he could at least try or something. I know he's getting the worst of the punches, but he doesn't have to be the weak one all the time!

Jules needs some loving too! D: Now he's off and committed murder and he's still trying to be strong. It's okay Jules, I love you! T_T *hugs*

I like how Julius thinks of "The Last Words" and specifically how that phrase is capitalized. There's something very child-like about that, putting such importance in things like the last thing that he may have said, or that his mother may have said. I find this notable just because of the way Julius comes across as so mature sometimes. I'm glad he still remains a child in certain aspects of his life.

Velvet.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 9 . 12/14/2012
Well, I guess he really is dead. :\

I know this might be a weird thing to say, but I feel I can relate to Julius in a way because we both have stupid feet! :D I don't think my feet are anywhere near as bad as his where they bleed, but I get calluses really easily. I used to get them from just a day of walking between classes in high school. ._. And I wear shoes out like no one's business, so I don't know. It's like Julius and I have so much in common, lolol! 8D But still, it's nice that there's one thing I can relate to him with, even though it's pretty insignificant compared to all the other stuff, but whatever!

I like that you covered all bases with Gordie's death-that is, the autopsy. It lends credibility to Julius getting away with the crime. I also guess this means that there's no way to try to trace anything back to Julius, though.

But, like any fresh murderer with a slowly crumbling psyche, he's going to fixate on a new target. I'm just worried about who it'll be this time. Probably someone in university who is smarter than him. I suddenly have a bad feeling things might go campus shooting with Julius, though, the gun is so impersonal. He likes to gloat, he likes that feeling of getting up close. He'll probably just get a lot more creative, then.

I also really liked how both sections in this chapter ended with something cheery. It really emphasizes, I think, the way that Julius feels now that he doesn't have to worry about feeling so inadequate. He can finally appreciate things like a carefree bird or stop to enjoy the roses.

Velvet.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 8 . 12/14/2012
You must really enjoy torturing your readers, huh? ;_;

If I read one more of these types of chapters, I'm just going to break down. I can't take it anymore! D: How can anyone survive this? How, I say! I still think you've really got this type of stuff down pat. Really visceral and raw, the abuse and the feelings afterward. I also think it's very accurate, their dad going after Desmond. Parents who abuse their child tend to have a scapegoat child they like to lay into the most. I just wish it wasn't Des. He's so scrawny and anxious. It's like beating a kitten! It's not fair!

I thought that spurt of anger from Des was *very* interesting, though. That kitten comes with claws, huh? I like that he at least has that emotion in him, though. He's still got some fighting spirit in there that doesn't want to give up. I really just hope recent events in the present haven't doused that flame entirely. :[ Ugh, he just has such a frail, weak body. It makes me so sad.

I really don't know how much more of this I can take. I am feeling so helpless, if Des were really I'd just be crying myself to sleep every night because I wouldn't have the power to help him. Ugh ugh ugh. Though, if he were real, I'd probably call all my toughest friends so they could beat the living daylights out of Des and Julius's dad, because screw that guy! *sad flails* ;-;

Velvet.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 7 . 12/14/2012
Oh my good lord.

I'm starting to like the present chapters more than the past ones. These present chapters are just so much more exciting, I'm eating them up! Jesus, and this one. This one! I didn't think he could do it, but he did it. He actually did it. Did he really do it? o_o! I just have this horrible sneaking suspicion that he didn't stab Gordie anywhere fatally and the guy is still alive and the ambulance is going to arrive and he's going to live.

Live as though to thwart Julius yet again!

I don't know why I'm so contradictory of the things that are happening. I guess I just don't like being surprised, so I always think of the situation that might surprise me most. Ugh, this is crazy. Absolutely crazy.

What the hell is he going to do now?

Let's see, uhm, okay, I really enjoyed the suspense in this chapter. I think I was holding my laptop like a lifeline as I read. At the same time that I didn't want Julius to kill him, I was unable to look away. My stomach was twisting and my fingers were curling, I was terrified. I like getting these types of emotions when reading a thriller. I feel like I'm getting the best experience out of the story possible.

Good work, I must know what happens next.

Velvet.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 6 . 12/14/2012
Gosh darn it, this chapter made me sad again. :[

Why? Why is nothing going right with Des? Why must his frail soul snap me like a twig? I want to punch the shit out of everyone now. *flails*

I really hate their dad. I hate that he feels entitled to everything just because he's a veteran. Maybe he should get off his lazy ass and get some therapy or something, because he is a waste-all, and I hate him. Why doesn't Julius just kill him? e.o Yeah, that'd be great. He could roofie one of his beers, though he probably wouldn't even have to do that since the guy is drunk all the time. He could stab him with a screwdriver. It wouldn't take that much effort if he went for the soft belly tissue, or the eye. Maybe you could jam a motorized whisk in his eye and blend his brains. Yeah. :D Or bash his head in with a frozen turkey and then they could cook the turkey, Silence of the Lambs style.

But yeah, Julius, definitely going down that dark serial killer path. Then again, mice are vermin so he shouldn't feel too bad. It's when he kills Ginger that he'll have a real problem. I liked how his conscience got the better of him toward the end, though. He's still got that humanity thing going for him, yay! However, I do think this will prove to be his downfall in dealing with Gordie. I fear he'll balk at the last minute and leave, which would be disappointing, but hey, at least he doesn't have to deal with *that* psychological trauma as well.

Velvet.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 5 . 12/14/2012
OMG is this a dream right now? Is he just hallucinating all this on the pot? Was it bad pot? O_O"

Truth be told, Julius's bad attitude is getting to me. I'm also starting to hate Gordie a little. I feel like he is unintentionally thwarting Julius. Or maybe the Fates really hate Julius and are being gigantic dickholes just to see him do something dangerous. Well, their plan is working.

I really liked this chapter despite how long it was. I was completely engaged in everything that was happening. I felt the worst for Desmond! D: This poor kid. I'm really worried he's going to commit suicide out of pure despair. Y U NO GIVE HIM HAPPEH ENDING?! Dx

[at least, the competition I'd turned it into.] I don't know why, but it pleases me that Julius realizes that he's acting pretty neurotic. xD I mean, I think it would be equally cool if he was so lost in his head that he just thought he was doing a good thing, being so obsessive, but to see that he's in fully aware of his senses and knows what he's doing is great. He can't go back now and say the devil made him do it.

Not enough characters take responsibility for their actions. They twist the story so they make themselves look like a good guy. This is fun, seeing the bad guy who everyone thinks might be something of a good guy cause at least he has a heart, right?

On this closing scene, yeah, great way to keep the suspense building. I definitely have to find out what happens. I hope it's not all a dream, haha. I'm secretly rooting for Julius's downfall. ._.

[his victory, even if only in my head.
Bridget glared at Mikey. "I got into Southern," she informed us. "I'm taking it."] These two paragraphs weren't spaced correctly.

["God, I swear, he get more masochistic every year,"] *gets

Velvet.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 4 . 12/14/2012
Okay, this chapter gave me the warm fuzzies and then the last line killed it. Killed it dead! D:

Seriously, I like the way the chapters are set up so far though, going from present time to flashback. It builds the background story effortlessly in between bits of conversation and events. It doesn't feel disjointed or jarring at all. Such as previous chapter, where they reflect on their childhood, and this chapter shows what that childhood was like. Your technique is seamless and each chapter flows into the next.

I think it's very interesting that Julius's strange behaviour started so early, though. I like how fire was used, though. I think fire is very symbolic in a lot of ways for Julius, not just because most deviant criminals start doing simple crimes like arson at a young age, but the fire could be seen as the fire inside him. The constant burning rage he seems to have toward people like Gordie Duncan. It eats him up, destroys his mind little by little.

I am worried about this fire. Fire is hard to control. Hmm.

A good chapter, I enjoyed it.

Velvet.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 3 . 12/14/2012
I don't like how this story toys with my emotions... Okay, I do like how it toys with my emotions. ;-; In just three chapters I have been terrified, sad, terrified and then happy. How?! But really, it's a good thing that I can experience such a wide range of emotions. I'm really into these characters, I feel for them so badly.

And Mikey! T_T He had to go all nostalgic at the end there and make me feel happy even when all that bad stuff happened earlier. I like Mikey, too. He's a good friend and his personality works well next to Julius and Desmond's, even if he isn't always in on the loop. He reminds me of some of my favorite characters in books, the comic relief friend who is always there for his bro during hard times.

I always feel bad for that character because even if the main character is having it bad, what is it like for the friend who doesn't even know how to make things better? What can they say? What can they do? They feel useless watching their friend suffer and can only be there in whatever limited ways they know how.

In that way, while it sucks that Desmond is so anxious about everything, I think it's good that Julius has someone who is going through the same thing as him. ;-; At least he doesn't suffer alone. *curls up in hole and cries* Now I'm sad again. Ugh ugh ugh.

Velvet.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 2 . 12/14/2012
Aww man, this chapter broke my heart. :[ Gosh darn it, how can I go on? ;_; Don't be sad, Des! T_T

I liked Julius character more in this chapter. He's sweet when he's dealing with his brother and I like that aspect of his character. It reminds the reader that he was once human too and he felt things just as deeply. It does make me wonder what happened to turn all those feelings outward into rage.

I liked his mother, too. She seemed kind and caring and very attentive of her children. I feel really really sad that she's not there with them anymore. I feel like maybe things would be better if she was. Not in a relationship with their Dad anymore, though, but at least there for them.

Ugh, I don't think I've come across a story of abuse that made my gut wrench like this before. All the other stories just touch on tiny aspects, the parts they think readers care about the most. They're not thoroughly planned out emotionally. Gah, this just kills me. :[ It makes me nervous because I don't want to know what happens next. I just want everything to be okay. Dx

Velvet.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 1 . 12/14/2012
Review courtesy of the Review Marathon. Link in my profile!

Wow, I'm not sure why, but there's something so dark about Julius's character that it's making me ill. o.o I usually don't have such violent reactions for characters I'm just getting to know, so take this as a thumbs up. I think his virulent hate of Gordie is what gets me so much. The more I read, the worse I felt. It doesn't even seem like Gordie's doing anything, that's what makes it so strange.

I think this story is aptly named. Julius has some sort of complex going on and it's not friendly. I haven't met a lot of main characters in my time that I neither disliked or liked, and I guess... I kind of like that. XD

I'm very interested to see what it is that makes Julius tick.

I like Desmond so far, too. He does seem like a shy guy, but I don't get any "murderous rage anger" vibes from him. I do feel bad for him, though, from what the others make of him, he sounds like he's pretty messed up. Well, both of them are messed up... I just don't know which one is worse. First chapter in and Desmond scares the crap out of me, too.

The characters are really believable at this point. I feel less like I'm reading fiction and more like I'm reading a biography. In a sense, that creeps me out because Julius's nature makes me think bad things are going to happen in the future. Dx

Velvet.
CacoethesScribendi17 chapter 6 . 11/3/2012
I closed my eyes and waited for the nausea to pass.

I do this every time my guinea pig eats her poop.
CacoethesScribendi17 chapter 5 . 11/3/2012
This is really, really good. Onto the next chappie.
CacoethesScribendi17 chapter 4 . 11/3/2012
My mom just left to go to the store. You're making me miss her.
CacoethesScribendi17 chapter 3 . 11/3/2012
I nodded, only half-listening.

That's become a part of my everyday life.
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