|Reviews for Turning Point|
| Sevenvoyager chapter 1 . 12/19/2012
I have to admit that your way describing scenes is very good, I personally find the big italic text hard to read but I understans why you did it. I also like the little twist at the end, I had not guessed that when I started reading and it's very well done.
Also I wonder what the latin phrase means? Perhaps it's a good idea to put a translation into an author's note at least. But that's my personal oppinion.
Overall I think you did a good job on this story, It has great potential and I for one am curious to see what happens next.
| peculiar9432 chapter 1 . 11/24/2012
This is a very interesting short story! First thing I'd do is I'd lose the bolding, it makes it a bit painful to read. It would work better if the text was only in italics.
The idea is good and the outcome too, I found one sentence that sounded a bit wrong: "a staff with a long, curved blade at the top of the staff". If the last word was something like just "it" it would probably work better in my opinion.
In total I like the story, keep up the good work :)
| Ghost Divsion chapter 1 . 11/6/2012
The first problem I see when I first look at this story is that a majority is in italics, bolded italics to be exact. Choose one, and dump the other. Most people dislike reading things in bold or italics, so to have them both at once is just painful. The description you put into this is very, very good, and the story moves along at a good pace for its length. I especially like the scene in the field between the knight and the reaper, however obvious the outcome may be.
| One Last Note chapter 1 . 11/3/2012
A very good start. There were a couple of small errors: "a staff with a long, curved blade at the top of the staff." (too many uses of the word staff). Also, the idea of a staff having a blade on the end as being a staff describes it well, however, might it not be better to actually use some description that better fits with the mood? Such as commenting on the actual blade as opposed to just decribing the weapon.
Other than that, I trully enjoyed the story and I REALLY want to know what happens next. May I also complement you on working so hard on showing as opposed to telling - you have improved greatly. There's still a fair way to go yet, but if you continue improving at the speed you are now, I know you will get there! Well done and keep up the great work!