Wonderfully written

Twelfth Night is by far my favorite Shakespearean play, and you did a great job on re-creating it without sticking straight on the path. I really enjoy the characters, though they could be a bit more fleshed out. I really enjoyed Tyler and his connection to color. I wish you had given details about the reaction Vince and Chase have after the big reveal, but besides a couple of things this story was amazing. Thanks for writing it!

Well, I started this chapter with high hopes, thinking that maybe the cliche boarding school story could be a bit different to read.

But I unfortunately don't want to continue. The bickering between the twins is a bit much. They are what fifteen? Not seven. They should act a bit more mature, don't you think? Especially since the acting twin already showed that she is very mature during the interview. And if this is a good school, how can her mom just say, "well, I'll send your sister with you"? Boarding schools are expensive! And from the sounds of this one, they are also difficult to get into. How can her mom get her twin sister into this place?

Too many problems for me to continue. I don't like starting a story and having the main character irritate me so much. It bodes badly for the story.

The thing is what I did read was not bad. You should edit this story. Give your characters and brush over, mature them, and develop them. Add some more descriptions. You are dialogue heavy, meaning you naturally can write a good dialogue and do it too much instead of having silence. There are a lot of things that can be said without having dialogue or a character's thoughts. A twitchy hand can mean anger. A hand tapping a beat into a desk could be anxiety.

Readers enjoy seeing these things, because we can read them, understand them, and feel like we've "divined" a character's emotions without being directly told something like: Jane Doe was sad to hear that John did not want to go to the prom with her. The old adage: show, don't tell.

Anyways, I'm sorry I can't finish. I had really wanted to give you a shot, since it's a completed work and had some good reviews for the last chapter. But I can't.

Edit this baby, and keep writing.
-Terra

This story is amazing and i loved it...more recognition is definitely deserved. Do you mind if I advertise on my FF account?

I read this story recently, but didn't have the chance to review it. So, here I go.

Things I loved

1. The plot was AWESOME.

2. The writing style was brilliant.

3. The twins(I'm obsessed with identical) were so funny(!) and practical.

4. Tyler was super sweet, and his character was deep.

5. (branching off of 2) One great thing about your writing is that you're really descriptive about the scenes. It's like you're (you, the writer) really there, and writing down what you're actually seeing because what I read was just too beautiful to be conjured up into someone's head.

6. Luna was a great character, and I loved how you sort of had Lindsey approach(not the word I'm looking for, but it'll do) her relationship with Luna (with the play)

7. You wrote some really funny scenes that I just cracked up at.

Um, I'm not going to write anything more 'cause the list could easily get really long. But those are some of the things that I loved about your story.

w/ lol,
AnaGirl

This story is really cool. I love the fact that Tyler wasn't mad for long. :3

Loved it. It's now almost 5:30 AM and I stayed up all night reading, so I'm not going to elaborate much, but you did a really great job. I liked your take on the Twelfth Night idea, and I really loved your characters. In your proofreading you let a few of the wrong your/you're-s slip by, but on the whole your writing is quite solid. Well done, and thanks so much for posting.

I loved this from start to finish. You are very talented!

I don't know why you don't have more reviews, this story is freaken awesome! Update soon!

This is such a great story. this is my first comment on this site. On wattpad or quizilla we just say whatever we like...so... sorry if this come out like a rant. I really love this story. I like Mick being Sam, I like Luke being Luna, I love Lindsey and Tyler as well. Vince is weird and I don't see his purpose in the story yet... Well, please update soon...