Reviews for the thirteen poems of Halloween
thewhimsicalbard chapter 7 . 11/2/2012
[RG - Poems - Easy Fix]

The last line of this poem was really intriguing. It was really thought-provoking, and added a lot of layers to a really short poem, which is a very good thing. That line plays on readers' expectations and adds a nice dose of irony to an otherwise one-dimensional poem.

The first two lines, however, are a little bit less than what I was hoping for. I mean, the first lines of a poem are supposed to capture the attention of the reader, but the only image you have is a black cloak. You also switched tense ("noticed" to "is wearing"), which is distracting. Attention to the most minute details is an essential for creating effective poetry.

YFIQ chapter 1 . 10/27/2012
Halloween is coming closer for the countdown...
YFIQ chapter 2 . 10/27/2012
Now that's deader than dead.

I mean how can a ghost die if he's already dead? Then again it's still better than going to hell I guess.
YFIQ chapter 10 . 10/27/2012
I don't know why but for some reason I thought this poem is kind of funny.
AquariusGirl230191 chapter 7 . 10/26/2012
All in all, after reading all 7 "chapters" of your poem - I like it. It has a few gramatical errors here and there but nothing that can't be fixed. I like the way you kept to the halloween theme throughout, using gore and different entities such as wizards and rats and ghosts to portray the image of fear in the poetry.

Great job :)
AquariusGirl230191 chapter 6 . 10/26/2012
Great imagery!
AquariusGirl230191 chapter 5 . 10/26/2012
Great imagery. I like the "their souls ripped out of them" bit.
AquariusGirl230191 chapter 4 . 10/26/2012
Whilst I like this, perhaps you could change spirit on one of the sentences. You have "a dead spirit" a "half spirit" and "it is the spirit" in three consecutive lines. Perhaps

"A dead spirit,
Half magical and half spirit
It is the soul of a wizard..." or something may change it up a bit :)
AquariusGirl230191 chapter 3 . 10/26/2012
I like the way all this is tying in with different spooky things for halloween. Great job so far!
AquariusGirl230191 chapter 2 . 10/26/2012
Like this too - spooky. Good imagery with the "the ghost has exploded from its prison"
"It's soul is gone
It's mind is gone" should be "its" as "it's" with the apostrophe there is equivilent to "it is" :)
AquariusGirl230191 chapter 1 . 10/26/2012
Spelling error on this one

"All the creatures "tha"we write" - should be that* right?

Otherwise, I like the opening.