Reviews for Traveler
sapphireshadow15 chapter 1 . 12/26/2012
So quaint. So elegant. So simple, upholding a simple meaning.

And yet, who somehow adds their own personalized tint time after time?

You do!

Happy writing, friend
-sapphire
Felrain chapter 1 . 12/5/2012
Nicely done, it was easily imagined and was spectacular.
Oak Leaf Ninja chapter 1 . 11/22/2012
Love this to pieces.
BleedingMusic chapter 1 . 11/8/2012
Beautiful, and twisted poem. I like this piece the most out of all the others. You have such a pure talent. Keep writing. :) xxx
Starry-eyed Starfish chapter 1 . 11/6/2012
This reminded me of the Highwayman for some reason... Probably the travelling...
The story I saw in my head was a child - maybe when they're older? Or just a child who is exposed to the world severely? - who wants their parent/guardian/older sibling (?) to stay behind with them and play games with them but they can't anymore... Or in contrast an older person with an "overbearing past" that pressures someone close to them a lot, eventually causing them to leave... :'( Do you ever write happy poems? ;)
OOOH! I just had another completely un-literal version of this story: A person who is broken and whose past is a mystery and their close-person is travelling into their past for them, to save them from its monstrosities :3 "Travel along my broken roads and find my deserted soul; there you can finally see me as a whole" - beautiful :)
Anyway you can tell it's a good piece because of all the ideas I am coming up with, the meanigfulness and the imagery that takes place.
Good job
midnight1899 chapter 1 . 11/5/2012
wow, I really like this one. I think the rhyming is forcing you into certain patterns though. I wonder what this would look like if the lines were broken up. I love the last line. The line "wish I knew how to be more like you; it's infuriating to see my overbearing past confuse you." jars me for some reason. I can't tell if it doesn't fit in tone. I think its because I've made a story in my head for the two characters and that line doesn't fit with my story. Great Job
TheGlycoprotein chapter 1 . 11/4/2012
I love the imagery here, it's really beautifully constructed. I loved the beginning two lines the best, they really set the poem up well. Nice work! :)
I'm your Zero chapter 1 . 10/29/2012
wow, i cannot tell you how much i like this! I've felt this way about friends before, they travel on as they leave me behind. so good at putting that into a poem, nice job!
Peppercat chapter 1 . 10/29/2012
Nice rythm! I don't really see it as a counterpart of "Sinful King" but they do have the same taste... I see "Sinful King" as the voice of a nother character in the same story, but not necessarily the one that travelled. Good job!
Delilah Brightman chapter 1 . 10/23/2012
Such a beautiful poem. I love all the imagery you used, portraying the feelings of loss and the state of confusing perfectly. Sometimes, it is the other at fault, and we have to learn how to not blame ourselves.
Lizard1856 chapter 1 . 10/22/2012
O. .G. That just gave me shivers. That was absolutely, posilutely, completely INSANE! I love that one! You can see the story line, the pain and sorrow, and all the work put into it. May i say, you are one talented writer. I am in awe of your choice of words right now. Everything fits and works together. I am a follower forever! :) :0 :) :0 :)