|Reviews for Red Death|
| Crimrose4all chapter 2 . 10/26/2012
AWH. THAT WAS PERFECT.
I have nitpicks, dough. Like, when you say something like, "I shifted in the chair I was sitting in," you don't need the 'I was sitting in' because if you shifted in a chair, it's already implied that you're sitting, no? And also, Gabriel said to Lily in the dream, "But you may know me by my alibi." An alibi is like a scapegoat, if you will. The word you're looking for is alias, which means alternate identity (I learned that from Howl's Moving Castle... 3 )
Also. It seems like you're rushing things along to get to a point in the story you just really want to write. Trust me, bro, I know that feel. But the best thing to do is not rush, even string it along if you have to, because if you go too fast like Lily suddenly saying that she wanted to be with Gabriel even though they literally JUST MET and he's being a douche, readers will be all, "Wat." You know what I'm saying?
BUT OTHER THAN THAT. It's going good so far, and I can't wait till you write more. The concept of the story itself is awesome, but I'm sorry, every time I hear "Jack the Ripper" I think of Grell. He's just so... gay. BUT KEEP UP DA GOOD WORK.
| Crimrose4all chapter 1 . 10/24/2012
You are a man whore who is undeserving of any woman. You scumbag. You... you Seiji. You... you... Joby!
| Viola Chambers chapter 1 . 10/24/2012
Wow! James is a two-timer isn't he? Go Lily! :D
| LanternKeeper chapter 1 . 10/24/2012
OOOOhhhhhhhhhh :DDD I hunger for more. Please continue! I think this take on the famous Jack the Ripper may turn out to be incredibly interesting and unique! Keep up the fabu work :)