|Reviews for Soul Anomaly|
| Katsurou Shimizu chapter 4 . 3/22/2013
Pfft... Blue Eyes White Donkey? Constipated Camel?
Nicely done parody.
Really loving your silliness. I look forward to reading more soon.
| Katsurou Shimizu chapter 3 . 3/22/2013
Hmm, I'm not so sure about the switch of POVs when you use a first person perspective. I think you can still work in the character well by using third person limited. but it's your call I guess.
The first part
Kenichi should take a leaf or two from Yuichi. He hasn't even looked up anyone's skirts so far.
And a very awkward bit of self cest I see there. C'est would have been proud (she better not see this review oops)
The second part, I think your narration from Sakura's perspective isn't as strong since she isn't as colourful a character as Yuichi, from what I can gather so far. You suffered a bit from using a bit too many 'I's in the prose, but it still didn't hamper the enjoyment much, so I'm good with that so far.
The third part, something tells me that Alicia's father is a closet pervert himself.
It's hard to take this story seriously, and in a good way too ;)
| Katsurou Shimizu chapter 2 . 3/22/2013
["Don't worry, I will have lots of sex to fill your quota! When we reunite, I promise to tell you all about it."]
- Loved this line xD
And oh my, strip rock, paper, scissors? My inner pervert cupid is loving every bit of this! My only beef is that you didn't describe the process from Alicia losing and... eh, I better not get carried away here.
Btw, Yucia is NOW CANON.
Once more, my only bits of CC relate to your use of punctuation. Sometimes you use a comma when a semi-colon is more appropriate, and vice versa.
| Katsurou Shimizu chapter 1 . 3/22/2013
Ah god, Cud, now I am kicking myself for not reading this earlier.
I think Kenichi and Yuichi could be best buddies, judging by the way their inner monologue is so easily interpreted by the others, and how the former's pervert complemented the latter's narcissm, and even the notion of reincarnation in the introduction.
(I almost feel as though I am plagiarizing your story, even though I haven't read it beforehand)
*Soul Anomaly and Ghost Gunslinger cross-over for story club week!*
I'm going to leave constructive criticism for another time, since the most I could really nitpick are some grammatical errors here and there (such as the usage of punctuation for instance), but your story, at least from this chapter alone, is enjoyable and easy to read (Love Yuichi's narration btw). Flow is also pretty smooth for the most part.
If you are worried about simplistic nature of your description, don't be. Personally, I think it would work against the comedy genre and the delivery of the punchlines that you are probably trying to establish here if you try to bog down the prose too much with pointless adjectives and adverbs. If you want a suggestion though, perhaps try using more funny and creative metaphors or similes *Is a fan of them myself*
And Yuichi is already too beautiful for my liking anyway ;)
Keep it up and continue writing! I'm defo looking forward to reading more.
| Midnight Spring chapter 4 . 3/12/2013
Yu-Gi-Oh! Hahaha, I love these parodies.
So, every 4 chapters is an omake right?
Personally, I think the mainline story's chapters are a bit too short? Come to think of it, I have read through 3 chapters already, but I think all that material can be covered in just one episode if this turns into an anime adaptation. Just my own style though.
And for typos, it's "senpai", N not M :
| Midnight Spring chapter 2 . 3/12/2013
Funny stuff right here. I was looking for a supernatural manga story and got here.
Like I said some time before, I'm not too good with mechanics like flow, transitions, and grammar so I'll just talk about the plot.
It really reminds me of Yu Yu Hakusho at the start, but as he reached purgatory, it feels like Mondaiji-tachi, a currently airing anime series. I'll be looking out for more.
| Y. S. Wong chapter 15 . 2/16/2013
I have no idea what's going on, but here it goes anyway!
So my first impression is that the perspective jumps are rather confusing. It might be better to just stick to one character's POV or else switch to third person. That said, it's your style, so I don't want to bang on it too much if you feel that it works best. However, you do have some tense consistency issues where you move from present to past to present again.
As for the fight itself, it was quite good. I thought it got bogged down a little bit towards the middle by dialogue, but that may just be me not being familiar with what's going on. The more action-heavy bits were exciting, and the choreography is done well. I thought the fight ended on a bit of an anti-climactic note, though.
Yuichi's (love his character, by the way) cool guy last minute rescue of Alicia was nicely done. One recommendation I'd make is I thought the transitional scene where Yuichi wakes up was a bit unnecessary. Personally, I think it would help the pacing if Yuichi just showed up BAM! and acted all bad ass for Alicia saving her and everything. Fight now, explain later is my philosophy. You don't need to take this to heart, just something to think about.
Overall, I'd say it was a fairly good fight scene. Definitely left me interested in reading more, although I've spoiled myself a little bit now! Just a little bit of cleaning up in the way you execute your storytelling and I think you have something very special, because you already have a knack for interesting ideas. But this is already quite good as is. Keep up the good work and happy writing!
| Akuroi chapter 3 . 2/15/2013
Your story is fucking hilarious. Plot's nice so far, and there's tons of interesting characters. It's supremely underrated with how little the reader base is. Of course, you also have a bit of trouble with punctuation, and some parts need a bit more detail to complete it. Still, it's awesome. *FAVED AND FOLLOWED*
| jinrebust chapter 1 . 1/25/2013
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT THIS STORY IS SO DAMN GOOD XD IM SO ADDING THIS TO MY COMMUNITY "Ultimate Explosion" I CANT WAIT FOR TO READ THE NEXT CAHPTER IN A FEW SECOND AND THE ACTION HAVEN'T EVEN BEGUN YOU ARE TRULY A GENIUS AND YOU COMPLETELY NAILED THE FIRST PERSON POINT OF VIEW WHICH IS ALMOST IS AN IMPOSSIBLE THING TO DO OH YOU ARE A GOD
| Z.na chapter 1 . 11/25/2012
How should I start this review off?! Oi, I got it! *Jumps into a dramatic pose like Yuichi* I can see why he admires this.
Excuse that interruption. Yuichi is a favorite for me already! The story is really funny and a good read. I don't see many stories like this one. I can excuse the few errors in here since I know I am very bad with them myself.
That's pretty much all other than I am going love this story! Until next time!
| Ahniya-sama chapter 9 . 11/6/2012
Whoa! I love it! His personality is indeed peculiar! Italways made me laugh!
One question though, is yuichi really handsome like what he says? It feels so because his sister is pretty,haha
| shoujo-ai-addict333 chapter 5 . 10/27/2012
I didn't see the marriage coming, I mean I thought of it as a possibility, which then makes me think if they'd ever know she is a reaper. This is going to be fun
| shoujo-ai-addict333 chapter 4 . 10/27/2012
OH MY GOSH! THAT WAS HILARIOUS! You kill me every time, I did a happy dance when I saw the updates.
I don't know If I can favorite this story enough times...
| Daisy02 chapter 3 . 10/27/2012
"My sleeping face is also heavenly beautiful." I said in one hundred percent self admiration "Alicia as my apology for before, I officially give you permission to stare at my sleeping face."
How is that? Just one look at me, and all your mental wounds shall heal. Aren't I just the kindest.
"AHHH! I'm inside it feels good!" I screamed.
"Knock off the sexual innuendos!" Alicia shouted in anger "I am doing this for your sake, so stop playing around."
"Fine, I just wanted to lighten you up," I said in a rejected voice.
"Okay I am going to reconnect you to your body." Alicia said whilst a green aura came out of her right hand. "You'll awaken again soon after."
"Thanks for everything Alicia, it was a pleasure meeting you." I said sincerely.
"And it was a displeasure meeting you, Yuichi Shiro." She said with anger mixed into her voice.
My conscience soon began to fade.
Yuna, Sakura and all the other millions of Yuichi Shiro fans.
I'm back, no autographs please.
These two parts killed me! I can't wait for things to get spiced up, I'm dying to know what her father said!
I'm happy you updated so soon
More creative wording, and there weren't many mistakes I found(of course I suck at finding grammar and spelling anyways)
I'm excited for the next update, this is a new type of fresh story with great characters, I loved how you put the chapter into parts, I could go on and on about what I liked, but I'll let you get to writing!
-Ciao, from your biggest fan!
| Daisy02 chapter 2 . 10/26/2012
GAH! I can't wait for the next chapter! I want to know what happens! I bet this will be funny situation for him, I loved it! I'm in love with Shiro, it's my favorite name too :3