Reviews for Untamed Monster
Thomas chapter 2 . 11/23/2012
i kinda feel like it turned down...sorry but it just doesn't really match up anymore...nd it got more scarier than it was in the prolouge
Guest chapter 2 . 11/23/2012
Awesome, daughter! That was really good-!
Ashbrie13 chapter 2 . 11/23/2012
I'm intrigued. This is really good. But a note, talking to friends doesn't always help with depression. And when you cut, it lets out endorphins and shit like that that's actually good. I know, I have depression. And I cut occasionally.
Larissa chapter 1 . 11/11/2012
I really though that the story behind the story is that no one will love her and if they do then they will relize what was happning and deside that they did not love her any more and so she goes on a rampage because she knows that if he does not love her then no one will.
Shadow's Core chapter 1 . 11/8/2012
Lol it's not that scary! But then...I could be a creepy person who likes stuff like this. Naaaaaah! But anyways it's really good, loved the thoughts that ran through her mind. However... (Don't get upset.) If you have her self loathing herself wouldn't you rather say "Her wicked, bloodstained hands."? Or something like that? I'm not trying to change your story or anything. Keep it the way you feel right. But please describe their appearances, tell us if there is a reason why she is a 'monster' (Was she traumatized as a child or something?), I noticed you misspelled "shield" lol you forgot the "L".
T.S. Atlas chapter 1 . 10/29/2012
This is amazing. Well done. The conflicting emotions within the charater are what define her. We all have demons within us, hers seemed to, "leak out." The idea that we are our own monsters is a great one, and I think this story shows an exemplary example of this and really shows it well. Great job.
Naver chapter 1 . 10/28/2012
Ah, but I am surronded by all who judge there is no one I can trust. Your story is most likely eye opening for some readers. You did a fine job in my opinion. :)
Consulting Jedi chapter 1 . 10/28/2012
Wow. Now THAT is a horror story. You, my friend, are a GENIUS! I applaud you
TheLoveless chapter 1 . 10/28/2012
"Slowly, Arianna move to grip the knife. "
Moved. She moved to grip the knife.
Tge prose is melodramatic in all the wrong ways. "Her heart has fallen, like a little star tumbling through the sky"...Oh puh-LEAZE.
Sure, we get to know she regrets what she did and we are told a lot about absolutely nothing.
Nothing that I care about, anyway.
Why did she stab him, is what I'm basically puzzling over.
TheKissOfThorns chapter 1 . 10/28/2012
Woah! That is kind of scary. It leaves us readers at a cliff hanger... It's really good!