Reviews for Phones being used in school
DL chapter 1 . 5/20/2013
I strongly disagree. Cell phones are crucial to the well-being and happiness of Teenagers. Texting in class is all for the thrill and for appearing cool offcourse. No matter how often or thoroughly bags r checked, there will always be ways. Separating Teenagers from cell phones is irrevocable.
DarkShadowOfTheMidnightFox chapter 1 . 1/4/2013
I have no se for my phone. Seriously.
D.The.Writer chapter 1 . 11/1/2012
This was a good short essay. It was detailed well for its length and brought up a good point about why it's a distraction. One thing about the whole controversial banning is that the students will rebel and cause an uproar over it. I do however agree that there should be a limitation to cell phone use in school. Overall, good essay. I enjoyed reading it.
not Ross chapter 1 . 11/1/2012
I think it's a bit of a stretch to blame cell phones on a "non-successful" life. We can place the blame here and there all we want, but it all boils down to motivation. Does the student care about school at all? That's what's going to determine their grades. Now, you could say that, in light of this, cell phones provide an alternative thing to care about INSTEAD of school, in the same way that a boyfriend or girlfriend does (which brings up an interesting point: if you're going to ban phones, why not ban dating and other things like that?). Caring is the only way to a "better" future.

On a sort of related note, the way you phrase the sentence "These addictive devices suck up all the attention of students and become a great influence to their peers," makes it seem like you don't blame the student, you blame the phone. How is it the phone's fault. It is entirely, thoroughly the student's fault, because the student has a brain, the student can make decisions to not get distracted by the phone. If they're going to choose the phone over grades, then let them deal with the D- on the history paper. In elementary and junior high schools, a cell phone ban is reasonable. However, by high school, a student needs to learn how to live life without the narrow rules set down by authority figures.

As far as style/format is concerned, I can't critique much because the essay is so short. Kudos for good spelling and decent grammar, though :)
Krystal Watters chapter 1 . 11/1/2012
As a teacher I like the idea, but searching backpacks would be too disruptive to the school day. Teachers also need to take responsibility and be jerks about taking up phones if they see them.

As an essay, you need to work a little more on your transitions.

You should also work on your conclusion. Summarize your poins and don't bring up anything new. You mentioned special permits, but you didn't say why there would need to be an exception