Reviews for A Star Called Home
Guest chapter 153 . 12/27/2012
Great story and I know this is a sorry way to complement you on what I think is a very good story.
Thanks for your time and patience.
protoman123 chapter 20 . 12/24/2012
this story man, how do i say this. your prose and the way yoru characters speak are all like a 17 year old non stop gibberish type of style. all your characters do this. it would be nice to break them into smaller parts, like have dialogue like this

"hi"
"how are you today"

instead of "Hi" "how are you today"
but knowing, you would probably tell me to gth and state that your style is perfectly fine
also, parts of your stories lack conflict and suspense. that is no good, but since you're not trying to do anything serious i guess whatever
rudedogs chapter 127 . 12/13/2012
I realy like this story more then the first ones, Kepp it p, I like how you talk about the tech too, makes it more real.
Guest chapter 120 . 12/10/2012
very interesting story. I find myself anticipating the next chapter eagerly. Great Job. Please keep writing. Love the story.
notagain49 chapter 80 . 11/28/2012
Thank you for sharing another great story. I'm glad I found your stories. A friend told me to check your page since I enjoy long westerns,time travel and space Thank you,Mike
protoman123 chapter 13 . 11/23/2012
shoot, i wrote my link wrong. i was trying to direct you to this website
2010/12/key-conditions-for-suspense/

the first part is probably cut off . it is supposed to read o . /

you said that you had trouble keeping readers in because you think they were bored, so i thought the stuff on this site might help. in particular, i want you to look at the information center for authors

what i thought about the story so far? i think it may have some adventure, but it lacks that critical element called "a big massive headache problem that attains the reader's attention". i think you have some aspect of it with ben getting jailed and getting lost, but it is soon resolved. it needs to continue and get worse.

if ur interested, maybe you can look at this website i find really cool . it's a college creative writing class by brandon sanderson: w w home/brandon_w2012/
protoman123 chapter 10 . 11/23/2012
2010/12/key-conditions-for-suspense/
Felrain chapter 28 . 11/12/2012
Very interesting story, keep writing